Rat (A Divergent Prequel and Eric Love Story)
by CanYouHearMyScreams
Summary: An Eric love story. She was just a lab rat, finally free from the Erudite, her rat trap. He was a Dauntless Leader, a frightening one at that. How could love ever prosper when there can't be love at all? Well, it's simple. It's love. Love always finds a way.
1. Prologue- The Story of Rat

I remember my life before I was trapped, vaguely, but I do remember. I was stubborn at five years old, never wanting to research or sit inside of a laboratory all day like the other, normal Erudite children. Oh no, I wanted to explore, stretch my legs, and see what the outside world had to offer. If I had known that I was an embarrassment to those I loved, I would've stopped, or at least tried to obtain my curiosity.

I remember the day that things changed forever. I had just came in from another day of exploring, dirt covering my scraped knees, my fist full of flowers that I crushed with my grip. My sister was such an intelligent woman and she wanted everyone to know it, everyone to bask in her glory. But, I apparently held her down. You see, Jeanine wanted the position as the leader of our faction. The old leader Mr. Hughes passed on. I liked Mr. Hughes. He used to smile at me as I ran past him, embarking on my latest great adventure. He occasionally stopped me, to place one of those sweet, little butterscotch candies into my small hands, you know, the ones old people like to keep in their pockets.

As you've probably guessed, I was a curious child, more curious than probably healthy. So, I couldn't help eavesdropping that day, although I'm partly glad that I did. I could hear Jeanine's dainty voice through our paper-thin walls, slightly muffled.

"I've worked hard for all these years, staying night after night at the lab, scratching my way to the top, and she's bringing shame to our family. Mother, the Matthews have always been so hardworking and intelligent. That one bad egg is ruining my chances!"

"Jeanine, darling, she so young. How can you possibly put all that blame on a 5-year-old?" my mother's frail voice replied.

"I can turn her into an ideal Erudite! Just let her stay with me, at the lab! She can get first-hand knowledge and then maybe, just maybe, she can learn something." Jeanine almost yelled.

I never heard what my mother decided. I didn't need to though, for Jeanine came to collect me not a minute later. I wasn't even allowed to pack my things, not even the blanket that grandpa had given me before he passed.

Jeanine drove a sleek, black car and at the time, I couldn't contain my excitement, anxious for the adventures that we would soon undergo, together as sisters.

I realized after I was taken to my new room, on the tenth floor of this monster of a building, that Jeanine wasn't really embarrassed of me, nor were we going on a humungous adventure. No, she just needed a lab rat. And that's what I was then known as, the Lab Rat. My room was all white, save for the blue bed sheets.

It's been eleven years now and I'll be damned if I didn't live up to my reputation of my nickname. I was the test subject for everything from new perfumes to this horrific simulation that made demons crawl all over me, harvesting on my blood. I had needle after needle break the surface of my milky white skin.

I was in absolute hell, so when I was around seven, I tried to escape. I had to run away. I had this crazy idea that I was going to get past the fence, once I escaped the building, and to leave this torture behind. I had the schedule memorized. An assistant would bring me a sandwich at 9am, then experiments until 5pm, then dinner, and lastly bed, just to repeat it the next day. I was ready. I sat on the edge of my small, metal bed and waited as the clocked ticked by, easing closer and closer to 9am.

When the time arrived, the assistant entered. He was an old man, maybe around his sixty, possibly near retirement, with balding silver hair. I exploded off of my bed, running at the man, and nailing a swift kick to his knee. He fell to the linoleum floor with a soft thud. I leapt over him, before he could get up, and ran down the halls, getting lost. It wasn't too long until the guards found me, and although I kicked and screamed, I was hardly a match.

Jeanine came to my room, not too long after. The second she entered, I knew what was coming. She liked physical punishments a little too much, and knew I'd never fight back. But, this time was different. Her teeth were grinding together and her eyes were so furious.

"You…rat.." she spoke through gritted teeth. "You broke Horrace's leg. You ungrateful, pitiful…rat."

I put my head down, unable to make eye contact with my sister.

"How do you think that makes me look, huh? I can't let situations like this happen underneath my watch! You can't ever forget about this and do things like this again. So, I'm going to punish you in a way that will stick with you for the rest of your miserable life. See how nice I am? Now you won't forget."

She grabbed me by my hair and jerked me to the cold, hard floor. I felt her knees press against my back, as if she was trying to hold me down. She has no need to hold me down. I wouldn't dare to fight back. Not with Jeanine.

My shirt was pulled up, leaving my bare back exposed. The cold air chilling me, sending goose-bumps all down my back. Jeanine's knife brought a sharp pain, hurting me all over, not just my back. I cried out, hot tears pricking at my eyes. My dull nails scratched at the smooth floor as she carved "R-A-T" between my shoulder blades. The carving must have only lasted for a few minutes, however, time ticked by ever so slowly. I felt the blood trickle to the floor, as my tears trickled down my cheeks.

She left me there, weeping on the cold floor. I must have lain there for hours, my cheek still pressed hard to the ground. Jeanine was right. I'll never forget this.

The only thing that kept me sane in my eleven years of imprisonment was the beautiful stories of fine literature. I loved following each character into a new adventure, going to a new world every night. The new assistant that brought me food would sneak in a new book every day, which I consumed in only a few short hours. I learned so much and probably actually became the ideal Erudite that Jeanine wanted eleven years ago.

I loved reading books that were saved from before the war. But one day, as I was delighting myself with _Gone with the Wind, _my former curious self began to emerge once more. I heard Jeanine conversing with a man outside of my room. I couldn't quite make out their words, so I pressed my ear to the cold, metal surface of the door.

"She has to go, Jeanine. You know the Abnegation have records of every person in the city. They'll realize that she didn't show up and come looking for her. You can't just fake a death or something." The man argued.

"But what if we didn't fake it?" Jeanine suggested eagerly.

"Jeanine! Even if I would resort to such measures, how would you cover something like that up? Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, yes. You're right. But, we can't send her. She'll reveal us!" Jeanine replied.

"It would be worse if you didn't send her. Just have a talk with her. The girl's obviously terrified of you. Talk to her about the system, about staying in Erudite. You could even be really nice to her and talk her into it. Maybe then it will all work out." He pleaded.

Jeanine sighed an exhausted sigh. The door handle began to turn, so I sprinted to the bed, pouncing on the now faded blue blankets, hiding _Gone with the Wind _underneath my pillow.

Jeanine walked over and sat on my bed, taking a deep breath before she began speaking, "Rat, tomorrow's a big day for you. I'm sure you know the gist about the Aptitude Test and the Choosing Ceremony. The test is tomorrow. And as your dear, loving sister, I could bear to let you live your life without taking a huge step like this. The scientists didn't want to send you because we need you so much, you're such an important part of our research and… our lives. But, I told them right off because my baby sister deserves it!" she paused here as if she was trying to think of more lies, "I know that I can trust you to make the right choice. After all you're a Matthews."

I gave her a weak smile and a slight nod. It must have been good enough for her, because she rose from my bed and headed towards the door.

"Sleep tight, Ra-" She stopped herself. "um.. Rose."

She left with a forced smile. Finally, a chance of freedom. A chance of adventure, I thought as I opened the yellowed pages of my book.


	2. Chapter 1- The Test

I didn't sleep last night. My mind was wandering so fast that I couldn't even concentrate on my book. The lab assistant came at the usual time, but didn't just being me one of the dull tasting bologna sandwiches that I was so used to.

The new assistant led me down the long halls that seemed to stretch on forever. After a while of silent walking, we approached the front doors of the institute, a place that I had not seen in eleven years. Jeanine stood tall, in a crisp blue suit dress, matching heels covering her dainty feet. My sister looked beautiful, and suddenly I became aware of how I must look. I couldn't recall the last time I had drug a comb through my long, blonde hair.

"My sister," Jeanine smiled. Although she was trying to seem friendly, she grew more intimidating. "You're a woman now. Don't be nervous. I know you're going to make the right choice.

And with that, she grasped a hold of my hand, leading me out of the door. Her grip was tight and cold. She led me to a car but unlike the one I had arrived in, it was silver, but expensive looking nonetheless. As she drove, my face was pressed against the window. It was such a sunny day and I could feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks, warming my entire body. I saw factionless children running on the sidewalks. Their cheeks were red, unlike my pale complexion. As they ran out of my sight, I could still faintly hear their shouts and giggles. I smiled, thinking of their happiness.

We approached a house which was all too familiar to me. It was my childhood home. I opened the car door and grinned at all my childhood memories. The steps going to the small wooden porch were still the same, the ones that I had fallen off of so many times in a rush to get to my newest adventure. I stroked my hand across the chipped pain railing of the porch. A single tear slid down my face.

Jeanine, whom didn't seem to notice my tears, stomped up the steps, uncaring of their history. She pushed a small key into the door knob and swung it open with a loud creak. She motioned for me to follow her.

The house seemed abandoned. Where was my mother and father?

"Mother died a couple years ago and father went to stay at a home for the elderly." She responded nonchalantly. I hadn't even realized that I was thinking aloud.

My mother was dead.. and no one thought enough of me to tell me. Why was I not crying? Children were supposed to mourn the death of their mother. And with that, tears began to flow from my eyes. However, not because I missed my mother, but because I was ashamed because I didn't. After all, she agreed to have me trapped.

Jeanine ignored my tears and motioned for me to follow her into the bathroom. Dust covered the sinks and mirrors. I wiped the dust off of the large mirror and jumped when I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My hair was to my waist and tangled in the most unbelievable knots. I had dark circles underneath my eyes, which stuck out on my pale skin. I looked as though I had been really sick for a really long time.

"Time to wash up," Jeanine said, as she laid two bottles and a razor on the edge of the bath tub and a stack of fresh, blue clothes on the sink. I hadn't even noticed that she brought them. "You're going to want to look nice for this test and the ceremony tomorrow.

I nodded and she left the room. I was alone again, as I had grown used to being over the years. I stripped of the dull blue gown that I had worn for months without washing. I looked at my legs and arms. Large purple bruises sprinkled about all over them. I sat down in the large, dusty tub and let the water run, first washing out the dust and then letting it run all over me. At Erudite, I was allowed to wash myself off with a wash cloth every once in a while, so this was a real treat. The hot water seemed to relax every muscle, so I got to work at washing the tangled mess of my hair and removing the hair the covered my legs.

After about thirty minutes of this paradise, Jeanine roughly knocked on the door, signaling for me to hurry up. I jumped out of the tub and slid into the clothes that she had prepared for me. The blue and white dress went to just above my knees. It had blue flowers going all down the arms. I looked like a mini-Jeanine. I looked into the mirror one last time. My hair actually went to my waist, but had just been tangled up so badly. I actually didn't look horrible. Not great, but not horrible.

I opened the door to see Jeanine sitting impatiently on the sofa. She smiled a weak smile and jumped up off of the sofa and went out of the house, expecting me to follow her.

I sat on what seemed like bleachers, beside other member of Erudite. The boy to my left wore a blue button up shirt with white pants that seemed to make his blue eyes pop out of his head. The girl to my right wore a dress similar to mine, but less expensive looking. Her brown curls spilled from her head in all different directions.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, anxiously twiddling my thumbs. After about an hour of calling names, Jeanine finally said, "…Marta, Jonathon….Matthews, Rose…Mawres. Denise.."

I stood up quickly, making my vision go black for a short time. Smoothing out my dress, I followed the boy named Jonathan to this room with a long hallway. Five open doors filled the hallway. A lady in Erudite blue pointed at the third door for me to go into.

A lady with curly black hair, dressed in black and white typed away at a large computer.

"Wow, you look rough," she commented. When she realized that her bluntness had caught me off guard, she said, "My name is Julie and I will be administering your test today. Take a seat."

A long chair stood in the center of the room. I climbed up, struggling because of my height, and laid back on the leather seat.

"Drink," she ordered, handing me clear cup with a suspicious liquid in it. I grabbed the glass and gulped the unappetizing drink down.

It was disgusting. I closed my eyes from the shock of the taste. When I opened them, the room was empty.

"Julie?" I called out. No answer. This must be the test.

A table with two bowls appeared at the edge of the room, one with a knife and one with a hunk of cheese.

"Choose." A voice ordered.

I approached the bowls and looked from one to the other. The voice ordered its demand again. I tried to imagine what each one could be used for. If I grabbed the knife, I could fight off a monster. If I grabbed the cheese, I could feed a monster? But, what if he doesn't like cheese?

"Fine." The voice spoke. The table and the bowls disappeared.

I heard a deep growl come from behind me. A large, black dog appeared, seeming ready to attack. Wow, that knife would have come in handy. I had to think fast before it started running toward me. I remember reading in one of the books that assistant had brought me that dogs won't attack something that is more threatening or dominant than them. I yelled at the dog, trying to scare it off. It started barking loudly. I yelled louder and started moving toward the dog. The "Hell Hound" backed away, whimpering softly. It actually looked pretty cute.

"Puppy!" a soft voice called out from behind. The dog started growling again. A little girl in Erudite blue with cute blonde curls and a button face was toddling toward the menacing hound. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I ran and pounced on the dog before it could hurt the girl.

I awoke on the comfy leather seat in the testing room. Julie's brows were furrowed as she quickly typed away.

"What was my result?" I asked after an uncomfortable few minutes.

" Erudite," she answered, "and Dauntless."

"What was your result?" Jeanine asked me as she came into my room a couple hours after the test.

"Erudite, of course." I answered with a smile.

Technically, I wasn't lying.


	3. Chapter 2- Dauntless

One of Jeanine's assistants drove the sleek, silver car toward the multi-story building known as the Hub. The car drove fast over the many potholes of the city, jarring my body, and causing me to hit my head on the window a couple of times.

Jeanine laid out a powder blue dress for me today, which adorned an indigo belt that hug my slender hips tightly.

I had thought about the test all night last night. I remember reading a book about Faction History. At the time, Amity had seemed the best possible decision for me. I could stay outside all day, having adventures. There would be no more abuse, just peace and love. The test confused me. I would have bet anything that I would receive the result of Amity. Sure, I had a love of literature, but why Erudite?

I must have been lost in my thoughts, because when I came back to reality, I was already walking into the tall building. After climbing what seemed like a never ending amount of staircases, we reached the ceremony, and I was led to where I was to sit.

"As you know," Jeanine began her speech. It was Erudite's turn to host the ceremony this year. "to avoid the war, we, as a city, split up into five factions. The ones who blamed dishonesty formed Candor. Those who blamed selfishness formed Abnegation. Those who blamed cowardice formed Dauntless. Those who blamed violence formed Amity. And finally, those who blamed ignorance formed Erudite. Today, you will choose the path of life in which you intend to travel. You must be sure of which direction you will go because after today, there is no going back. Let us begin."

The ceremony began and they began to call out names in alphabetical order.

"Zacharias, Jeffrey" was called first. Jeffrey nervously walked down the steps, dressed in Abnegation grey. I noticed a bead of sweat ran down from his temples as he fidgeted for the knife in my sister's hands. He cut his hand and a puddle of crimson began to form on his palm. He gripped his hands shut in an attempt to hold the blood. He stared at the bowls for a moment, looking at each one thoughtfully. After a while, the contents of his hand began to spill onto the grey stones. "Abnegation!" Jeanine called out. No one cheered. He was just welcomed back with a slight smile from the Abnegation.

Next, Jeanine dainty voice called out for "Zander, Kaitlyn." A girl, seemingly more confident than the boy before, walked to the bowls in her Amity yellow and red ensemble. She took the knife from Jeanine and thanked her. She was quicker to her decision, slicing her hand and pouring her blood onto the hot coals. "Dauntless!" The Dauntless erupted into a loud cheer. As Kaitlyn walked over to be seated along the sea of black, Dauntless members ran over to pat her on the back, shouting "Welcome to Dauntless."

The ceremony went on calling names, the only real excitement being when a person chose Dauntless. I thought of Amity, what my life would be like there. But every time I thought of it, a life at Dauntless would pop into my head.

Soon, Jeanine called out the words with satisfaction, "Matthews, Rose." I stood up, my legs shaking, probably looking similar to the Abnegation boy that chose first. Stumbling over to Jeanine, she placed the knife in my hands, giving me a reassuring smile. I looked down the line at all of the bowls. My eyes focusing on the red-tinted water, the bloody dirt, and the flaming hot coals. I brought the blade of the knife across my palm, hot pain coursing over my hand. Blood began to trickle down my arm. I gazed back and forth from the dirt, water, and coals. I must have been there for a while, because Jeanine cleared her throat impatiently. I decided that I had to choose now, no more time for thought. I jerked my hand quickly overtop of the hot coals, hearing the sound of sizzling. "Dauntless." Jeanine almost whispered. The sound of the sizzling coals was then blocked out by the loud cheers of Dauntless.

I smiled at Jeanine, receiving a grimace in return. I walked proudly to the Dauntless—no, freely. I sat next to a boy in dressed in Candor apparel and as soon as I sat down, my back was being patted, my hand shook, and I was being welcomed. I felt free. I felt happy.

Jeanine collected herself and began calling out names and the ceremony was quickly over. As soon as the last name was called, the Dauntless jumped up and began running down the stairs and out of the building. My small legs struggled to keep up, tripping over a step every now and then. We reached the outside and the sun shined brightly upon us, warming my body to the core. I laughed aloud, a deep, happy laugh as my new faction members began climbing up to the railroad tracks. I grasped tight the warm metal handles protruding from the pole that led to the tracks. I was out of breath already, but I couldn't stop for a breath. This was the most fun I've had in eleven years. I had only read about experiences like these before.

Eventually, I made it to the top, where people had already started running, anxious to jump onto the train that was closely approaching. I closed my eyes as I inhaled the sweet spring air, listening to the whistle of the train. I opened my eyes and began running alongside the girl from the ceremony known as Kaitlyn. As the large train arrived, members jumped up and opened the doors. I began to run faster, closer to the train, and I leapt, almost missing the handle beside the door. I hung suspended there for a while but soon gained the strength to pull myself up. I looked back to see Kaitlyn hanging where I had been, but she seemed to not be able to muster enough strength. I reached my hand out to her and she gladly took it, pulling herself onto the train.

"Thanks," she said, her voice failing her.

I nodded in response. I looked around the train car. There were two Amity transfers, three Candor, and two Erudite, counting myself. I watched from outside the door as the train rode through the town. Soon, the boy from Erudite shouted aloud, "They're jumping!" I stuck my head outside of the train door, and sure enough, the Dauntless were jumping from the train onto a roof, a large gap separating the two. I positioned myself at the door ready to jump. Many other transfers readied themselves, while others cowered in fear near the back of the train.

I thought to myself, I can either attempt to jump or become factionless. I wanted to live this Dauntless lifestyle so badly that I decided it would be worth risking my life for. As the roof neared the train, I backed up, giving myself room to run and jump. I began to sprint as fast as I could and ran off of the train.

At first, it was like I was flying through the air. Time seemed to slow down, that is, until I looked down. I saw how high up we were, but really, how far down the fall would be. A scream escaped from my throat and my arms and legs began to flail.

The impact was hard, but not the worst I've experienced. I felt gravel dig into my knees and then my face as it collided with the roof. I felt blood began to trickle from my eyebrow. I just let it fall, hoping it would make me seem tougher to the other Dauntless. I looked behind me as a Candor girl hung from the roof's edge. I ran to her and began to help her up. She was so much heavier than I could've possibly handled. Another Candor, a boy, came up from behind me and helped me pull her up.

"Sadie!" he cried, as we lifted her.

She thanked the boy and hugged him, ignoring me.

"Listen up!" a deep voice called from behind us. I turned around to see two men standing at the other side of the roof. One had dark skin and stood with his arms crossed. The other was pale with long, black hair, his face adorning several piercings. "My name is Max. This is Eric." The dark skinned man spoke, pointing to the man beside him. "We're two of the leaders of this faction. So, show respect. There's only one way for you initiates to join Dauntless and that's to jump." He said moving aside to make room for the ledge behind them. "Who's first?"

"You want us to jump off of the ledge?!" the boy from Amity shrieked.

"If you're afraid, then maybe you don't belong in Dauntless, initiate." Eric replied bitterly.

I could be brave, I thought to myself. I've dealt with so many years of abuse and I survived. Shouldn't that make me brave?

"I'll go." I said in almost a whisper.

Max moved his hand towards the ledge, beckoning me to it. I stumbled towards it, more ungraceful than I had been at the Choosing Ceremony. I stood at the ledge, a large hole faded into blackness, concealing whatever was down there.

"What's down there?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" Eric replied.

"I guess not." I said half-normal, half-yell because as I spoke the sentence, I jumped from the building. Wind gushed all around me, chilling my bare skin. I screamed a yell of excitement as I slammed into something, something that began bouncing with my weight. I looked around me at the woven brown ropes that saved me from death. A net. A beautiful, life-saving net.

I hand grasped tight onto my arm, pulling off of my hero. He had light brown hair and I could see a tattoo peeking out from shirt.

"What's your name?" he asked me.

"Ra-" I stopped myself.

"Think about it. You only get to choose once." He told me.

"Rose." I breathed. "My name is Rose."

"First jumper!" he shouted. "Rose!"

The Dauntless went into a frenzy of chanting my name over and over. Soon, a man lifted me onto his shoulders as the Dauntless cheered.

After everyone had calmed down enough for the rest of the initiates to commence jumping, the man placed me nicely back onto the floor.

"Woah, that's a nasty scratch on your eye there. I'm Zeke." He spoke.

"I'm Rose." I answered in return.

"Oh, trust me. I know your name. All of Dauntless know your name, first jumper." He smiled.

After all the initiates jumped, the man who took me off of the net and a woman led us down a long hallway, the walls made of stone.

"Dauntless-born go with Lauren. Transfers go with me." He spoke, as a group of people followed Lauren down a separate hallway.

"I'm Four, and I'll be your trainer during initiation. We'll go over the ground work of training tomorrow."

The Candor boy who helped save the girl earlier scoffed.

Four stopped mid-sentence and eyed the boy intimidatingly. "Fine something funny, Candor?"

"It's uh just.. your name.. it's kind of odd." He stuttered.

"And what's your name?" Four asked, getting closer until he was in the boy's face.

"Zackery." The boy whispered.

"Well, Zackery, every year trainers have to deal with Candor smart mouths. And guess what? I'm not. If you want to survive here, it would be best to keep your mouth shut? Are we clear?" he asked.

The boy nodded and Four stepped back continuing the tour.

"This is the pit. You will be given an allowance while you are in initiation to buy basic necessities like clothes and tattoos." he said, pointing to the coliseum-like hole in the ground that was filled with shops and laughing Dauntless. My mouth flew open in awe at the wonder of the pit. Four walked past me and put his hand just underneath my chin, closing my mouth.

He smiled at me jokingly as he walked on. "This," he said, walking over the small bridge that overlooked a flowing river, "is the chasm. Every year, the Dauntless initiation gets too… challenging for some of our initiates and they decide to take their lives here. That, or some drunk fools think it would be cool to play around on this bridge. A word of advice, if you fall off of this bridge, you will die."

After walking for a ways, we were led to a large room filled with ten beds, a small trunk at the foot of each bed. "This is where you will be staying until the end of your initiation. Well, unless you get cut."

"Cut?" I asked, confused.

With that, Eric walked into the room, apparently hearing the conversation. "Yes, initiate-that-asks-too-many-questions, cut. We will be starting a new form of initiation this year. You chose us, now we'll choose you. A few of our…weaker initiates will be factionless after every stage of the initiation." Eric answered.

"Stage?" I asked.

Eric rolled his eyes annoyingly. "Yes, there's three stages. The first one's physical. The second, emotional. And the third's mental." Eric moved until he was in my face. "Now, do you have any more annoying questions?"

I nodded, obviously showing that I was intimidated.

"Good," he breathed.

He smelled like vanilla and a musky cologne. He moved away to stand by Four.

"Your first day of training begins at 8am. You'll find clothes in the trunks in front of your beds. Change and then join us at the cafeteria for dinner." Four said, as he and Eric turned to leave.

"Wow, Eric's a dick." Kaitlyn said, as she grabbed my hand, moving me toward the bed beside the one she had picked out for herself.

"No kidding," I laughed. "I'll be sure to ask more questions in the near future."

"We may be in Dauntless, but that's a little too brave if you ask me. I'm Kait," she laughed.

"Rose." I answered back.

"Yeah. Everyone knows your name."


	4. Chapter 3- Baseball Has Strategy?

Kait and I had made our way to the cafeteria, that is, after getting lost and entering five different hallways until Zeke had finally found us. Of course, he thought it was so hilarious that we were lost.

"It happens to the best of us," he had said numerous times. "Just kidding, only you."

"You can't tell us that you didn't get lost at least once here," Kait had almost screamed.

"Actually no, I was Dauntless-born. However, even if I wasn't, I'd be able to find a place that's only, like two rooms over." He stated matter-of-factly.

When we reached the cafeteria, most of the food was gone. Not that I really had an appetite, I was too excited to eat.

"Shauna!" Zeke screamed, "I've been looking everywhere for you! Figures you'd be wherever food is!"

"Bite me," Shauna spoke, her mouth full of food.

Zeke sat down beside of her, leaving the last two seats in all of the cafeteria for Kait and me. "I brought fresh meat! Guys, this is Shauna. She worships the ground I walk on. Shaun, this is Kait and Rose."

"First jumper," Shauna nodded. "And call me Shaun again, and I'll remove a certain one of your organs, if you catch my drift."

I ate in silence while the other laughed and told stories, Shauna handing me a roll to munch on after my stomach started growling.

This wasn't like Erudite at all. Erudite was cold and hard. Dauntless was warm, fun, happy. I heard the happy voices all around me, laughing loudly.

Later, we return to the dormitory, where we all laid down to sleep, exhausted after a day full of changes. This has by far been the greatest adventure I've ever undergone.

Ever since Jeanine had taken to marking me with my nickname permanently, I found it difficult to sleep. I was always alert, always afraid. I suppose the change of faction still didn't take away my old sleeping habits. I awoke abruptly, looking around to see the other initiates were still soundly sleeping. The metal clock on the wall read 3:30 am. I had probably been asleep for around 4 hours. I slipped on the black combat boots that I had been given and walked out the door. I might as well take a stroll around the compound, since it would be pretty hard for me to fall back asleep.

I stopped at the chasm. The loud roar of rushing water was actually quite soothing. Maybe I could relax here and be able to sleep for at least a couple more hours. I sat on the metal bridge, letting my feet dangle over the side. It would be a pretty big fall if I made the wrong move, so I grasped ahold of the railing pretty tightly. I leaned my head against the stone wall at the end of the bridge, closing my eyes and concentrating on the sound of the river below.

"And what do you think you're doing here after curfew?" a rough voice called out from behind me.

I opened my eyes and looked behind me. The gentleman who had snapped at me earlier stood on the other side of the bridge. He wore black jogging pants, the kind that you would sleep in, and a tight, black tank top that showed his muscles off, as well as the tribal tattoos that circles his arms all the way to his shoulders.

"Eric," I breathed. "I didn't know there was a curfew."

"Yeah, well there is," he snapped. "You have to get back to the dorms. I'll walk you."

"No." I said, very bravely if you ask me.

"No?" he questioned, his eyes widening in anger.

"I have trouble sleeping at night. The river sounds calm me and they might help me go back to sleep."

"There's a rule, initiate. No initiate is allowed out of their dorms without an official member chaperoning." He replied.

"Then chaperone me."

Eric's eyes narrowed at me. He stood there, apparently mulling it over in his head because sitting down beside me with a sigh.

"If I had known that I would have to deal with people like you, I would have never became a leader." He argued.

"Then leave, go do whatever it is you were doing, and let me sit here until I feel tired enough."

Eric sighed again. "I can't do that. That would be breaking rules and I don't want to look bad since I haven't even been a leader for a full year."

"Oh," I replied, staring into the chasm. "What were you going to do anyways?"

"None of your business," he snapped. I frowned and looked down at my hands awkwardly. "I was doing a night watch. It's the transfers' first night and I wanted everything to go smoothly."

I nodded and stopped the conversation. Eric was obviously annoyed with me and I didn't want to push him any farther because, who knows? He might push me farther off of this bridge.

"What made you want to jump first?" he asked, shocking me that he was actually continuing the conversation.

"Well, man-who-asks-too-many-questions, I figured I must be brave to be able to live the life I lived at Erudite, so I guess I might as well show off my bravery."

Eric laughed a deep, rough laugh that sent chills down my spine. "And what kind of life did you live a Erudite?"

I hadn't even realized that I had brought up my past. I couldn't tell him or let anyone know. They would think I'm weak for not being able to stand up to Jeanine.

"Don't worry about it," I said, attempting to copy his mysteriousness.

Eric left the subject alone then. For an hour or two, we stayed quiet. Eric staring into the chasm at the rushing river, while I laid my head against the wall, my eyes closed. I soon grew sleepy enough to possible drift back off to sleep.

Eric walked me back to the dormitory, saying nothing, his hands in the pockets of his pants.

Before I walked in, he turned to me and said, "Listen, whatever happened at Erudite, it's over now." And he was gone just like that.

The sound of metal on metal, clanging loudly caused me to burst upright. I rolled into the floor, scared out of my mind.

"No, Jeanine! Please!" I screamed.

The clanging stopped. I opened my eyes to look around me. This wasn't my room. There wasn't the faded blue sheets or the cold, white walls. The sheets around me were black, and many faces gazed at me in shock. Eric stood in the doorway, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What was that, initiate?" Eric said, amused.

"Nothing," I replied as I went into the bathroom to comb out my hair. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was dull, with absolutely no volume or life like the other Dauntless women had. I had to change it. My eyes had dark shadows under them. Maybe a little make-up wouldn't hurt. Or a new change of my wardrobe. I guess it wouldn't hurt to spend a little of my credits after training, or perhaps all of them.

I stumbled down to the cafeteria, taking a seat beside of Kait and the girl I "saved", Sadie.

"What was that this morning, Rose?" Kait inquired.

"Just a bad dream." I replied.

"About someone name Jeanine? Isn't that the leader of Erudite?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah." I stumbled over my words. "She was intimidating at Erudite. I was kind of afraid of her. Just a little, stupid thing. You know, how someone freaks out when they're near a patrolman even if they aren't doing anything illegal?"

Kait accepted this lie and we both went back to our breakfasts of bagels and orange juice.

The training room was enormous, with targets and mats laid everywhere. Four and Eric stood in front of the targets, knives piled up on a table.

"You each will take five knives, and you will practice your aim on these targets. You never know when you are in combat at you must use something like this to defend yourself." Four said, continuing his speech with the right techniques to throwing knives.

My eyes were glued to him. As he spoke, I tried to emulate him, positioning my body the way he did to become familiar with the positions. We began throwing. I had taken a moment to make sure that my feet were the correct distance apart, my arms and chest correctly positioned. Imagining Jeanine's face on the target, I took a step forward, throwing the knife with all my strength and releasing a loud grunt. I nailed the knife on the bottom left corner of the target. Looking around, I found pride that no other initiate had managed to even touch the wood that made the target.

"Close, but still not well enough," Eric commented from behind me. "Like this," he said as he placed his hands on my waist, pushing me closer to him and moving my legs to a different position. He let go. "Now, pull your arm back like you would throw a baseball." I stayed still. How do you throw a baseball? There's a strategy? Eric sighed, grabbing me by the wrist and bending my arm behind my head. "Eye the target and then let it go. I did as I was told, and hit the target on the ring next to the center.

"Who knew you actually have what it takes to be a Dauntless?" Eric commented, a sly smile forming.


	5. Chapter 4- Be A Man

We returned to training after a brief lunch. I didn't eat because the cooks ran out of food after serving the official members (practice ran a little late) and only had bologna sandwiches to serve to us. I refused to eat those things. It reminded me of Erudite too much.

When we returned to training, we were kept waiting, because Jackson, an Amity transfer, and Alicia, a Candor transfer showed up late to training. Eric waited for them by the doors with his arms crossed. Four insisted that we just go on with training, but Eric was persistent. "Probably somewhere making out," Kait had whispered into my ear with a slight giggle.

Eventually, they stumbled into practice. Upon opening the doors, Alicia whispered to Jackson, "Eric is going to kill us!" She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Eric at the door.

"Oh no, don't overestimate me. I wouldn't kill you. But, close." Eric smiled evilly. "Now, who was the one who made the other so late?"

Alicia and Jackson looked at each other, mouths wide open. Fear clear in their eyes.

"No one's going to fess up? Fine, Jackson, be a man. Go stand in front of the target," Eric ordered.

"Eric," Four started to plead.

"Are you questioning my authority?" Eric questioned. Four said nothing. "Good, the initiate that gets their knife closer to Jackson doesn't have to fight tomorrow. Alicia, you can go first."

Alicia turned white from head to toe, as she stumbled over to the designated point, taking the knife from Eric's hands. "I'm sorry," she mouthed to Jackson. She threw her knife and it clanged on the ground as she missed.

Eric sighed. He does that a lot. "First jumper, let's see what you have for us."

I looked at Eric, pleading him to stop with my eyes. He didn't pay any attention to my glare, just handed me a knife.

I thought of the way Eric had taught me to stand. I eyed my target. Not Jackson, but maybe the area near his knees. I threw the knife, missing where I intended, but pinning Jackson's loose shirt to the wall behind him.

The others took turns throwing, all terrified and shaky as they threw. No one came as close to Jackson as I did, and I hadn't even intended to get that close.

We left to dinner, and as I walked to a clear table, I noticed Alicia embracing Jackson. She rubbed her hands across his back in a sort of comforting way. As I approached, she glared at me, "You could've killed Jackson, you idiot!"

Her comment had taken me off guard. "I- I didn't mean to get that close."

"Sweetie," Jackson said to Alicia, "she can't help how good she is." Jackson smiled nicely at me, but Alicia still frowned. I guess Kait was right about where they I had been.

I found Shauna and sat next to her. I told her about the make-over I intended to get. Her eyes widened at me. "Are you kidding me? We have to go right now."

"Now?" I asked, eyeing my uneaten food.

"Now." She ordered.

Shauna practically ran down the steps of the pit, pulling me along with her. We arrived a hair salon and upon flipping through a little book with pictures of hair styles, I decided on dying my hair crimson red and cutting it shoulder length. I picked this mainly because Shauna insisted that it was SO me. I then decided to be brave and pierce a small stud into my right nostril, just because I remember Jeanine talking about how tacky they were.

After, buying numerous outfits and putting one of them on, Shauna gave me a quick tutorial on how to put on make-up and actually giving me some of hers after swinging by her apartment to pick it up.

Later that night, I laid in my bed, trying to sleep. But, the sandman must have forgotten to visit me because I couldn't even fall asleep for a couple of minutes. I pulled my boots over my new pajamas and made my nightly stroll to the chasm.

Before I even sat down, Eric called out from behind me. "Guess you're going to make me sit here with you every night of initiation?"

"Serves you right for the cruelty you inflicted on Jackson today." I spat.

Eric sat down beside me. "They need to realize just how serious this training is. A couple wrong moves like that and you're factionless. Just like that. Besides, I knew none of you could throw a knife good enough to hit him."

"Still. One of us might've suddenly been blessed with amazing knife-throwing powers. You never know." I replied sarcastically.

"What was all that about Jeanine this morning?" he asked.

I closed my eyes tightly. "Nothing. Stupid bad dream."

"A bad dream about your past?" he asked, hitting a nerve.

I sighed heavily. A single tear slid down my cheek. I hurried as fast as I could to get rid of it before Eric could see. I must not have been successful.

"Whatever happened, you're Dauntless now. Don't worry about it."

"Why do you act like that?" I asked.

"Act like what? Leadership-like? Because I'm a leader." He answered.

"No, it's like you pretend to be this tough bad guy that likes to hurt people but whenever you're not careful enough, like now, you show a little bit of compassion. You try your hardest to be intimidating, and yes, it works on everyone else, but I see right through it." I replied. I must be really tired to be able to say something like that.

Eric's jaw tightened. He looked into the chasm, lost in thought. "It's no act," he finally replied. "I'm just that much of a monster."

"You're lying. You build up these walls to seem so tough. I feel the need to break them down." I challenged.

"Quit changing the subject," he snapped. I have obviously touched a nerve. "How about you tell me what happened at Erudite."

"Go screw yourself," I spat. Eric had angered me more than I've been in a long time. I rarely showed emotion like this, but he just made me fall apart.

Eric looked at me menacingly. "If you think you can talk to a leader like that, you might as well get the hell out of Dauntless." He spoke through gritted teeth. "Get up initiate. You deserve to be punished." He rose and grasped tightly on my wrist.

"Eric, let go!" I pleaded. "Where are we going?"

He unlocked the training room doors, pushing me inside. "You are going to punch at the punching bag until you get all this anger out, understood?"

"And if I refuse?" I almost whispered.

"You don't refuse. That's an order, initiate."

I turned and punched at the bag, while Eric stood behind me and laughed. After an hour, my face was wet with sweat and tears. I fell to my knees.

"Did I say stop?" Eric called out with a yawn.

"She abused me, tested on me." I said, as he stared at me.

I then went into a full story of my past, stopping when I began to choke on tears.

"She's not going to hurt you anymore," he said quietly, gently placing a hand on my back. "I'll make sure of that. Now, get up. I have to go wake up the initiates now."

Training went normal. I felt a lot better now that I had gotten rid of what I had been holding in. It began with practicing with punching bags, which I was insanely sick of. After lunch, fighting began. I sat out due to my close-call with Jackson yesterday. I sat next to Eric, who didn't even glance at me the whole practice.

Kait lost her fight with Edwin, an Erudite transfer, and ended up in the infirmary with a broken nose.

I woke up that night and went to the chasm, and after waiting an hour, Eric never showed up. Three days went by, and he still never showed up. I'd bet my life I saw him look at me yesterday at dinner. But, that's the closet I've came to being in contact with him. If he wants to ignore me like an eleven-year-old, fine. Two can play at that game.


	6. Chapter 5- Princess

I sat on the bridge at the chasm. It had been about two days since I had slept and I was running on empty. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sounds around me, but failing. Sleep wouldn't come no matter how hard I tried.

Eric hasn't come to the chasm since I "interrogated" him. It's better off this way, I supposed, maybe now I can just relax instead of punching a damn punching bag.

My eyes then became very heavy. I closed then, laying my head against the wall.

"Get up and report to the dorms." Eric ordered, jostling me awake.

"How long have I been awake?" I asked.

"Why in the hell would I know? We're waking up the initiates." Eric grabbed my arm and jerked me upright.

"But, today's a free day! We don't have training." I said as he pulled me down the hallways.

"We're not training. It's a little Dauntless tradition." He informed me harshly.

"What tradition?" I asked.

"Does it matter? Now, pretend to be asleep." He said before we entered the dorms. "If people see us enter together, they'll think I'm banging an initiate."

I laid down on my bed as Eric roughly woke the rest of the initiates. "Get up, and be at the tracks in 15 minutes," he ordered.

I pulled my hair into a messy bun, staying dressed in my black, comfy pants and tank top. I headed upstairs to the tracks, leaving the other initiates behind me, still rushing to get ready.

Eric was the only one at the tracks, tapping his foot impatiently. The cold, night breeze blew against my bare arms, bringing about goose bumps and causing me to shiver.

"Really? You're not smart enough to bring a jacket?" Eric snapped.

I looked at him, but then averted my gaze to the ground, ignoring him.

"Goddammit," Eric spat, tearing off his leather jacket and roughly placing it over my shoulders.

"What's your problem?" I yelled.

"I'm nice enough to give you my jacket and you ask me what my problem is?" Eric scoffed.

"You're been such a jerk lately!" I screamed.

"I told you it wasn't an act. I'm a monster. The sooner you learn it the better." He whispered.

I started to reply, but stopped when Four approached us. "What's all this yelling about?" Four questioned.

"Princess here was too stupid to bring a jacket and started yelling until I would give her mine. Just trying to keep the peace." Eric responded.

I opened my mouth at Eric comment, but collected myself when the hoard of initiates began to arrive. We jumped onto the train and Four began to speak. "Today, we're going to partake in a little Dauntless tradition. As a Dauntless, I trust that you all will take this seriously. The game is Capture the Flag. It is exactly like the name suggests. Eric and I are team captains." Eric handed out strange looking guns as Four spoke.

"Dauntless-borns will be chosen first. Four, you can choose first. You'll need all the advantages you can get." Eric teased.

"Zack." Four chose.

"Patricia." Eric chose.

Soon, they began to choose transfers. "Edwin," Four chose.

"Rose." Eric said. I was take off guard that he actually chose me first. We ended up with Sadie, Jeffrey, and Alicia on our team.

After jumping from the train, Kellin, a Dauntless born, suggested to hide the flag in the hollow part of a tree, which Eric agreed with. Eric ordered half of our team to search the right side of the city, while the other searched the left, leaving Eric and I to guard the flag. He must take pleasure in torturing me like this.

"So," he asked after we had stayed silent for a great deal of time. "Do you still have "Rat" carved into your back?"

My chest then grew pretty heavy. "Forget I ever told you anything about it. If I hadn't been physically drained, I would've never bothered with saying anything to you, let alone speak to you in the first place." I meant every word I said.

"What this about?" Eric said after a long pause.

I didn't answer. "Initiate," Eric began.

I cut him off. "My name is Rose." I spat.

Eric stayed silent. His jaw line tightened as he looked out in the city.

"I was alone my whole childhood too, you know." He whispered.

He sat down on the dew-covered grass. The moon still hung high in the sky, casting a white glow upon him. He rip out shreds of grass as he spoke. "Father died before I even took my first steps. Mother became depressed. She didn't like being home because it reminded her of father too much. She worked day and night at the laboratory. I had baby sitters until I could cook for myself. They never really did anything for me though. I was bitter because I was so lonely. I was one of those Erudites that bullied the Abnegation children, and even a few Erudites. Everyone hated me, so I left. I went to Dauntless, and guess what? It's just as lonely here." I didn't know what to say to him. I just stood there, frozen. "There, now I've told you a boohoo story about my past. Can you stop acting like a fucking child now?" He said, irritation in his voice.

"You don't have to be lonely," I said, sitting down beside me.

He looked at me, raising one eyebrow. "Don't act like I'm some poor guy who deserves sympathy. I'm the one who chases people away. I'm the one who makes myself lonely. I hate people. Why would I want your sympathy?" he snapped. His head hung down, as he began ripping out grass again. "I've been trying to chase you away, but you're like a damn leech. You just won't go away, always insisting that 'you're gonna break down my walls' or whatever."

I stared at Eric for a moment before replying. He looked like the little kid that he had spoken about. He looked lonely. "Actually, Eric, I think I did break down your walls."

Eric threw his head back and laughed, gazing at the full moon overtop of us. "I broke them down for you."

"Still counts," I teased.

"Actually no, it doesn-" Eric broke off when an army dressed in black wielding the strange guns ran toward. Eric whipped up his gun and began firing, while I scrambled to shoot. Suddenly, a sharp pin shot through my leg, spreading throughout the bottom half of my body. I fell to the ground, trying to fire but tears blocked my vision. Another shot hit arm, and dropped my gun, fading into darkness.

I woke up with the feeling of arms cradling me. I shot up to see Eric carrying me back to the train. "Did we win?" I mumbled.

"Nope," Eric said, angrily popping the 'p'. "Someone passed out and let them get the flag."

"Hey, you could've protected it too!" I argued.

"I was making sure that you were alright. I've never seen someone get shot five times like that."

Five times? No wonder my body is aching all over. I heard the whistle of the train and the bangs as it bumped along on the tracks. Eric started to run, jarring in his arms. As we approached the loud train, he threw me inside. I slammed into Kait, as she fell with me, laughing. I looked back to see Eric gracefully leap onto the train.

"Sorry about that." Kait shrugged.

"About what?" I asked.

"I may have shot you a couple of times."

I shot her death glares which turned into giggles.

I jumped off of the train and back to the Dauntless compound, sending a jolt of pain as I hit the ground.

Eric came up from behind me, "I have an idea," he said.

I turned around a raised an eyebrow. "I have a meeting today, and I know you haven't been getting any sleep and as you trainer, it is my duty to ensure the well –being of all initiates. Considering that today is a free day, you can go to my apartment and sleep in my expensive, comfy bed."

My eyes widened that he would actually offer this to me. "Don't think I'm playing favorites. You are definitely not my favorite." Eric continued. "This would just help Max see me as more responsible."

"So you want me to sleep in your bed while you're away so you can get brownie points from Max?" I laughed.

"Pretty much, yeah." He answered, handing me a key.

"Hey, I didn't even agree to this yet," I said, holding the key up to him.

"I'm a leader and I'm not asking. That was an order." He then left me there with absolutely no clue where his apartment was, save for the 'L4' that adorned the key.

I found Shauna, as always, at the breakfast tables. "Hey," I asked, as I sat down beside her. "Can you show me where the leader's apartments are?"

"Sure, but why do you need to know where their apartments are?" she asked. "Are you hooking up with a leader?!"

Zeke appeared out of nowhere. "Rose is hooking up with a leader?! I always knew Max was a sly dog!"

"No! Noooo! No!" I yelled. I thought quickly about what I could say. If I told them the truth, it would only support what they thought. "I smarted off to Eric earlier, and I have to meet him there to see what my punishment is!"

"Cool," Shauna said, her and Zeke getting up to lead me to Eric's apartment. "What'd you do?"

"I.. uh.. called him a few choice words." I stuttered.

"Wow, you are brave." Zeke laughed. "And… here we are!" he said stopping at the small, wooded door.

I thanked them and waited for them to leave before I let myself in. I could still hear their laughs as they disappeared around the corner. Eric had a modest apartment. He had a small living room with a black couch in front of a large bookcase with a monstrous amount of books tucked in every nook and cranny. The kitchen connected with the living room, a small bar stood in the middle, dishes stacked upon it. On the other side of the living room were two doors. Upon opening one of them, I noticed an all-white bathroom filled with various selections of hair gel. The other door seemed to be Eric's bedroom. A large bed, adorned with all-black sheets filed the room. I was pretty sure that I was too short to climb onto this enormous bed. After backing up and running on it a couple times, I finally managed to climb on. He was right. This bed was like a cloud compared to the initiates' beds in the dormitory. I tucked myself in and upon smelling Eric's cologne embedded in the blankets, I fell asleep almost instantly, finding myself still wrapped up in Eric's leather jacket.


	7. Chapter 6- First Kiss

_Jeanine held me down, laughing wildly, evilly. It was so much different than her regular dainty chuckle that was often fake. My back was burning, as well as the rest of my body._

_She released me, and I watched as she threw her head back to laugh again, blood dripping from her hands. It spilt to the floor, forming a pool of crimson at her feet. Was that blood from... me?_

_I gazed down quickly at my body. Not a shred of clothing covered my body, only my worst nightmare. The word 'rat' covered my body from head to toe. Down my arms, across my chest; the red words shown everywhere. I touched a 'rat' covered hand to my cheek, feeling the cuts there as well. _

_I let out a scream, but nothing had sounded. I could only hear the throbbing in my head and Jeanine's shrill laugh, singing "Rat, Rat, Rat!" over and over._

My body began to shake as two hands grasped tight on my shoulders, jarring me awake. I screamed loudly at my attacker, and threw my fist forward. I felt my knuckles collide with a nose, as I threw myself on the other side of the bed. "Goddammit!" I heard a familiar voice shout.

My "attacker" pulled a string from the ceiling, causing the room to be filled with light. Eric stood over the bed like a giant. Still in his clothes from earlier, he clutched his nose.

"What's going on?" I asked, scrambling over to see what had happened.

"Well," Eric started, annoyance clear in his tone. "I was being nice and letting you use my bed even though I've been back from my meeting for hours, and you started screaming like a madman. So, I tried to _gently _wake you up and apparently you saw fit to punch me!"

"I'm so sorry, Eric! I was having a nightmare and you scared me!" I tried to apologize.

"Don't be. That was a pretty good punch." He smiled.

"Well, thanks for letting me sleep, but I should probably be getting to dinner." I said, walking past Eric, making my way out of the door.

Eric laughed. "Good luck with that. It's 6am. I'll be waking the initiates in about 2 hours."

I spun around and looked at Eric. Had I really slept all-day? Now that I think about it, I was feeling pretty nice. My eyes didn't feel heavy and I was actually wide awake for the first time in years.

Eric laughed once more and sat down on the couch, where a pillow and a blanket lay as if they had been recently slept on. Something in my mind clicked. Eric actually let me have his bed and slept on the couch so I could sleep well for once. "Told you my bed was comfy," he laughed.

Eric had been so menacing when I met him. Now, he actually looked kind of, well, happy.

"Yeah well, I kind of regret it now that I've realized that I slept where you've done the dirty."

Eric laughed meekly, for the first time seeming awkward, instead of his usual graceful self.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow.

Eric looked down at his hands. "You don't even know me," he shrugged. "What makes you think I've 'done the dirty?"

"Please, you're a Dauntless leader. People are drawn to power. It's simple." I responded, realizing that I was sitting on Eric's couch, one of the few who actually intimidate me.

"Then is that why you won't go away?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's because you have a comfy bed." I thought for a minute. "A bed that you _apparently _haven't done the dirty on." I added, stretching out the word 'apparently'.

"Don't act like you're all high and mighty because you have and I haven't, okay?" Eric snapped. "I choose the life I live. I push people away because they're a waste of time."

So, Eric was being serious? I had always just figured that he would be the type that used women and threw them away the next day.

"Eric, I've been locked away since I was five. Sitting beside you now is the closest I've been to a man! I've never even kissed anyone!" Eric eyes became wide and then went back to normal as realization hit him.

I prayed that he would change the subject. I've never talked about this with someone else, let alone someone like him. He was so intimidating. I was positive that he could just shoot me a look and I would fall over dead.

Eric sat there for a minute, as if he were lost in thought. Eventually he looked at me, but not in an intimidating way, but how he had looked earlier that morning as we guarded the flag when the moonlight hit his cheek in just the right way. "Me either," he whispered.

"What?" I asked. I had realized that I was staring at Eric, probably creepily, and had forgotten the topic.

"I-" he started, red filling his cheeks, "I haven't had my first kiss."

"That's a lie," I said, rolling my eyes. "I should've known that you would be a dick and mock me like that. Whatever, Eric." I started to stand up from the couch and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"I'm serious," he said through gritted teeth. I looked up at his face. He looked like a child that was about to throw a fit. But, when I looked into his eyes, I knew he was actually telling the truth. They looked sad, lonely even.

"Really?" I asked, still not averting my gaze on him.

He looked back down at me. "I told you, I push everyone away. Ever since I was little. I wouldn't allow myself to get close to anyone."

"That's," I began, "so sad."

Eric laughed. "You've lived a life of torture and you think I'm sad?"

I nodded. "I was locked away and didn't get to see anyone but scientists testing things on me. You went to school, watched the happy couples and friends together. It was probably horrible, seeing all of that and having to watch in the background. I didn't have to see all of it. Although, I did read about it in books."

"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you wouldn't have been trapped?"

"I would've chosen Amity." I replied.

Eric's eyebrow arched in disbelief. "Amity? Really?"

"Before I chose, I was going to pick Amity, but I changed my mind at the last second."

Eric laughed again. "Maybe if you would've chosen Amity instead, you wouldn't be such a pain in my ass."

I rolled my eyes. I was starting to realize that I did this a lot. I was still looking at Eric when he said, "I suppose this is the part where you suggest that we have our first kisses together, considering how madly in love you are with me."

I shoved him, "In love with you? Please."

"Then stop staring at me." I looked down, I could feel the heat on my cheeks as I blushed.

I felt Eric's rough hands slide underneath my chin, pulling my face up to his. I closed my eyes as he pressed his lips onto mine. They were softer than anything I had ever felt. His lips began to move against mine, as I placed my hand against his cheek, feeling the warmth of Eric. My stomach began doing flips and my heart raced faster than it ever has before.

He broke off the kiss, standing up. "There, now we both have the whole first kiss thing out of the way."

A knock banged on the door, causing me to jump.

"That's probably Max! Quick, go pretend that you're still asleep!" Eric whispered, as he pushed me into his bedroom and closed the door.

"Hold on!" I heard Eric shout from the other side of the door.

As I slid into his bed, I touched my lips to feel where Eric's had just been. I became aware of how shaken up I was. My hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty. My heart kept pounding as I tightened Eric's leather jacket tighter around my slender body. He's never getting this back.

I stood anxiously in the training room, waiting for my fight. I watched as Jeffrey dominated Alicia during their fight. I was next. I had done pretty well during my past fights, but I was scheduled to fight Jackson. Jackson was at least triple my size and he was yet to lose a fight. I knew Jackson wouldn't be downright cruel and hurt me more than necessary, but I knew that I was going to die today.

Four noticed my nervousness, and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Just think about something that makes you really angry before your fight."

I nodded and thanked him for the advice, while trying to think of something to make me angry. Normally I would have immediately thought of Jeanine. But, I suppose my new life has changed me, as well as the way I think. Eric popped into my mind, how he could pretend that I don't exist for days and then kiss me. It angered me more than I had realized before now. It wasn't like I was a love struck girl that was _absolutely dying _because he was sending me mixed signals. I'm pretty sure that I don't care for Eric that way. I'm lonely. He's lonely. It just seemed like he would at least want to talk to me. I just wish so badly that he would just ignore me and continue to ignore me so I could go on with my new life.

I snapped out of my thoughts to see Four carrying an unconscious Alicia to the infirmary. I saw Jackson step into the fighting zone, a look of determination on his face. I slid of Eric's jacket as I stumbled in front of him, trying to grasp ahold of the anger that I had, but losing it as it was replaced with fear. Jackson made the first move, stepping forward and throwing a fist, which I dodged. I flung my leg up to kick his shoulder, surprised that I could kick that high. Jackson stumbled, but collected himself quicker than I'd hoped. He ran towards me with a uppercut that sent me to the ground. I kicked his legs as he neared me, sending him to the ground with me. I took advantage of this and leaned over him, throwing random punches. He grasped tightly to my shirt, trying to pull me off. After what seemed like a while to me, he tugged on my shirt too hard. After he realized what he was doing, he let go of me. But, it was already too late. My shirt was pulled up to my neck, exposing my back to the crowd of Dauntless behind me. I struggled to pull my shirt down before anyone saw, but failed.

I heard Sadie from behind me, "What the hell is on her back?" Four repeated this same question over and over. I looked behind me to see initiates with their mouths wide open, stunned.

I wiped tears out of my eyes and ran straight out of the training room, hearing Eric call my name out from behind me. I just kept running. I had no clue where to go, but eventually stopped at the once place that could make me feel better, the Chasm. I sat in my usual place and just let the tears flow. I didn't even bother to wipe them away, even as people walked past me.

I finally found the anger that I should have harnessed during the fight, the anger towards Jeanine. It raged up inside me, and caused tears to fall even harder.


	8. Chapter 7- Truths

I laid in my bed in the dormitory, trying to pretend that I was asleep. Practice had just let out and everyone was probably in the cafeteria, chatting and laughing loudly, which seemed like the way all Dauntless ate.

I felt a hand touch my back, gently rubbing where my scar was. "I know you're not sleeping." A calm voice spoke, rubbing circles on my back.

I turned around to see Kait, in a leather jump suit, smiling at me the way you smile when someone loses someone they love and you're trying to comfort them. "I don't want your pity," I snapped. I pulled the black blanket over my head, turning away from her.

"I wasn't offering it." She said. Even though the blanket blocked my vision of her, I knew if I pulled the blanket down, she would be smiling that regular Amity smile. Her smile seemed as though it was engraved onto her face. It never left her face. "I want you to come with me. I've been in Dauntless for so long. Like a full week and a half. I want a tattoo! You can get one too!"

I gave in after about a two minutes of being persuaded. I quickly pulled a brush through my crimson hair, which I took pride in, and threw on a smudge of eyeliner and mascara. I didn't want to look like I had sulked in my bed for hours, crying my eyes out.

The tattoo parlor was magnificent. Beautiful, elaborate drawings were everywhere and were probably similar in amount to the stars in the sky.

As Kait went into the back of the parlor to have a withered tree tattooed on her wrist, I tried to busy myself by looking at each drawing. However, I already knew what I wanted. I had known before I even came here.

"Getting my name tattooed on your ass?" Eric's cocky voice teased from behind me.

I blushed at the mention of my private area, causing Eric to laugh. "Fuck off," I replied.

"C'mon. At least let me pick out the font considering it's my name," he laughed.

"Not in the mood," I grumbled.

Eric's expression grew serious. I supposed he realized that I was still upset over today's training. "I wanted to make you laugh because I know you're really upset." He spoke quietly, probably afraid that someone would hear him actually being compassionate. "What tattoo are you getting?" he asked.

"I'm covering up my scar," I answered, looking away, "with angel wings."

He brought a hand to my back, making sure that no one could see the gesture. "You may want to forget about it, but that scar represents what you've overcome in your life."

"She wanted me to remember. I just want to forget."

"You'll never forget it as much as you try. The best thing to do is learn from the past." Eric replied.

I stared up at him to see he was looking at me. He actually looked sincere. He had been so cruel to me when I had first met him, but now he was trying to comfort me. And it was actually working. I remembered last night, when Eric had become my first kiss, the chill of his lip ring mixed with the heat of his lips. I thought of the little boy who had no mother, no father, no… no one.

"That kiss was a one-time thing. Stop staring at me like you're going to eat my face." He laughed.

"You were staring first," I argued.

"Because I was talking to you." Eric spoke, as a woman with some kind of bird tattooed brightly on her skin called Eric into the back. As he left, Kait appeared, smiling brightly. The skin around her arm was red and blotched.

She pulled at the paper on her wrist, revealing a beautiful design of the tree, much more magnificent that I had originally pictured. "So, are you ready for yours?" she asked. "A little warning, it feels like a million bees stinging you at once. Totally worth it though."

A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. "I think I've changed my mind. I don't think I'm going to get a tattoo."

Kait's eyes grew wide, but her trademarked smile stayed put, "I was exaggerating about the bees! You HAVE to get one!"

"I'm not afraid of the pain. I just want to wait."

"Suit yourself," she said with a slight shrug.

Kait and I walked into the dormitory to see the transfer sitting on their beds, evidently playing a game.

"Right on time!" Jackson shouted. I was thankful that he was choosing to not bring up the events that took place today. "We're playing truths, but Candor style."

"What makes it Candor style?" Kait asked, plopping down on her bed.

"Jeffrey was cool enough to bring Truth Serum from Candor. We were just about to start," Jackson answered.

Edwin started passing around a cup filled with a slightly blue liquid. It came to be my turn to drink. I stared down at the cup in his hands. I really didn't want anyone to know anything else about Erudite. I stared up anxiously at Edwin.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh c'mon, you cry baby. No one's going to ask questions about your poor widdle past," Edwin spoke in a baby voice.

"Edwin!" Sadie shouted.

Edwin didn't reply. I took the cup from Edwin and drained its contents, as if I was trying to prove myself to him. "Good," he said, going back to his bed.

"I want to start!" Kait shouted. "Alicia! Are you and Jackson making babies?"

"Yes," Alicia answered without hesitation. Kait broke off into a wild cackle.

The game went on until the serum had almost wore off. I learned so many embarrassing stories about the other transfers, but all that they learned about me was that I was a virgin and I that I've never been drunk.

"Okay, last question of the night," Sadie announced. "Ummm…" she said, looking around the room. "Rose, who was your first kiss?"

My eyes grew wide and my heart began to beat fast. "Eric," I felt the words leave my tongue, leaving behind a bitter taste.

As everyone's eyes grew wide, with their mouths wide open, I felt the serum wear off. It was like a blanket being pulled off of me, leaving me as my normal self.

"Not that Eric!" I shouted. "He was a lab assistant at Erudite!"

Kait grabbed her heart as if she had been having heart attack and then relaxed. Jackson laughed a hearty laugh.

"Why would you believe that I kissed _that _Eric?" I asked, faking a laugh.

"It's just that he-" Kait started but Edwin began interrupted him.

"Please, you're probably sleeping with him. We see how you're his precious little pet who pays SO much attention to you and ONLY you during training. If it wasn't for Four, none of us would receive instruction." Edwin snapped.

I couldn't control myself. It was like my body had a mind of its own. I rose from my bed, and threw back my fist. It slammed into Edwin's face so much harder than I had punched Eric. I stormed out of the room, leaving Edwin shouting behind me.

Eric was already sitting by the chasm. I took my usual place against the walls beside the bridge, letting my feet dangle.

"What's wrong with you," Eric asked.

"I punched Edwin," I grumbled.

"Hopefully it leaves a bruise unlike that weak punch you threw on me earlier," he laughed. "Why did you punch him?"

Warmth spread to my cheeks, causing me to blush. Eric cocked an eyebrow curiously at me. I just shook my head refusing to answer.

Eric must have moved on from the question, realizing that I wasn't planning on answering. "You should have saved it for tomorrow. It's the last day of stage one. You're fighting Edwin."

I groaned out loud and laid my head against the wall. "What happens in stage two?" I asked, my eyes closed, the rock wall probably creating an indention on my cheek.

"I can't tell you that." Eric said.

"It's not like you haven't broke a thousand rules in the time I've been at Dauntless." I argued.

"Not a thousand; more like ten. But I really can't tell you. Just think of it like a nice surprise that you get after tomorrow."

"Because the kind of surprises that I enjoy are harsh training stages that will more than likely scar me for life." I said sarcastically.

"Oh, this is surely going to scar you." He laughed.

"That's motivating."

We stood in silence for the rest of the night until I grew tired, like every night. Eric walked me to the dormitory, before looking at me and saying, "The second stage is exploring your fears." I turned around to ask him what he meant, but he had already started walking away.


	9. Chapter 8- The Rules Of Fighting

I couldn't go back to sleep when I returned to the dorms. I knew I wouldn't be able to, but Eric needed sleep and I wanted him to be able to do his nighty patrol, so he could go back to his apartment. I was too nervous to sleep. The initiates will be waking up soon, and in a couple hours, we all figure out if we're safe for a couple more weeks. Or… if we're factionless.

I pushed the thought of being homeless out of my mind, as Four came in, banging the metal bars together, just as he did every morning. I almost crawled out of my bed, like a nervous slug. I was exhausted, anxious, and just really pissed off.

I dragged my body to the bathroom. I had decided that if I'm going to become factionless, I would do it in the most fashionable way possible. I fixed my red hair, which I freshly dyed, the best of my ability. After spreading black shadow with eyeliner and mascara onto my eyes, I climbed into the leather cat suit that I had been dying to wear since I had bought it. It hug what hips I had, making them seem larger, more woman-like. I pulled on matching black combat boots, as I looked into the small-ish mirror. I had grown up so much in these weeks. I remember the day before the Choosing Ceremony, when I saw my small frame in the mirror, bruises covered my arms. Bruises still cover me, but not from abuse. I earned them in fighting. These bruises represented a happier me in a happier life.

"Stop smiling at the mirror. You don't look that good," Edwin snapped from behind me. I still found it strange when I saw a boy in the bathroom with me. He had a slight bruise underneath his eye.

I ignored Edwin's comment and trudged down to the cafeteria, taking my usual seat beside of Zeke.

"Today's the day," Zeke announced. "Four said you're going to die today."

I groaned as Four sat down in front of Zeke. "I said no such thing! Gossip is for the weak, Zeke."

I tuned myself out of their conversation when I noticed Eric at the leader's table. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, his jaw was tightened. He looked incredibly angry, making me dread today even more.

As we walked into the training room, a chalk board read the following names:

**Sadie vs Jeffrey**

**Alicia vs Kait**

**Rose vs Edwin**

**Jackson**

Jackson must be in first place because he wasn't fighting today. Eric stormed into the room, angrily throwing upon the doors.

Kait leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Someone's panties are in a twist." I smiled in response.

She straightened up quickly when Eric narrowed his eyes at us. He stomped over toward us. His face in front of mine, he seethed, "Something you want to share with the class, initiate?"

"None of your business," I struggled to keep my voice from breaking.

Eric raised an eyebrow. "I'm clearly not in the mood to argue with your annoying self. We'll just skip right to the punishment for back talking me then." Eric spat, "Stand in front of the target."

He moved to the knife table and picked on up, examining its sharpness. "No." I said, partly keeping confidence in my voice.

"No?" Eric asked. The initiates around us backed up, as if expecting some sort of battle.

"Your punishments are cruel and underserving. Like I said, you just want people to see you as intimidating. So you heard me correctly, no."

I heard Kait gasp from the back of the room, as something shiny flew from Eric's hand and headed toward my face. Kait's gasp made me alert in time to dodge it.

I looked at Eric who seemed to be gathering another knife. Quickly, I went to the pile of backup knives in the corner of the room. Aiming for Eric's arm, I flung the knife, which met Eric's mid-air and hit the floor between us. I didn't take the time to stop, but grabbed three knives, flinging one after the other at Eric. I was near tears from anger, as Eric's knife skimmed across my arm, causing blood to trickle down my arm lightly.

"Stop it! You'll kill each other!" Four screamed.

"Fine, I'll quit." Eric answered, throwing his arms up in surrender.

I began to walk back over to where I had been before the battle took place, but then I felt a pressure slam into my face, sending my stumbling backwards. Eric had punched me.

Anger welled up inside of me, spreading through my veins and causing me to shake.

"Want to talk back-" Eric asked, but was cut short when I imitated his punch.

He ran towards me and push me to the ground, crawling on top of me and punching. I brought my knee up and made contact with his chin, making him roll off of me.

I placed my knees on his arms, pinning him. I punched just as he had.

Eric's next move took me by surprise. He slid an arm out from underneath my knees and pulled my face down to his. He violently kissed my lips, causing me to move my other knee and to drop my guard. He took advantage of my un-alertness, and broke off the kiss. He pushed me to the ground, his strong arms, holding mine down.

"Rule number one of fighting," he sneered, "don't ever let the enemy seduce you."

He took an arm off of me and threw a punch onto my cheek.

"Eric, please," I cried. "I give up. You win. Just stop." Eric laughed victoriously.

He stepped off of me, "Of course I win."

He turned his back, and began to walk back to the initiates. I swung my leg underneath his, causing him to fall hard onto the ground. I crawled atop him and pinned him down.

"Rule number two of fighting," I mocked him, "Never turn your back on the enemy."

Four shouted from behind us. "We should really be getting back to the final fights!"

I turned around to look at Four, Eric still pinned underneath me. At my distraction, Eric swung his leg up and kicked me in the face. I clutched my nose, while Eric switched our positions. He now had me pinned to the ground.

"Rule number three of fighting," he laughed, actually seeming better, "Never give your enemy the upper-hand.

I wasn't really thinking clearly, but I acted anyways. I slammed my head into Eric's, pulling off the most painful head-butt in the history of head-butts.

Eric rolled over until he was behind me, his hands rubbing his forehead.

"Rule number three of fighting," I said, tears welling up in my eyes, "No one wins in a head-butt."

Eric moved his hands away from his face to look at me. He began laughing heartily. "Damn straight," he laughed. I began laughing along with Eric.

"Truce?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. His forehead was extremely red. He rose up to a standing position, reaching a hand out to me.

"Truce." I answered.

"Well, considering Rose pretty much got her fighting over with for the day, Jackson will now be fighting Edwin." Eric announced, walking over to the chalkboard, and making the changes.

Kait ended up winning her fight with Alicia, while Jackson dominated Edwin.

I was walking with Kait and Alicia back to the dorms, as they excitedly talked about my fight with Eric. We were walking over the chasm, when we felt a loud creak. It sounded like metal grinding over metal.

"What was that?" Kait asked.

We found out all too quickly. I heard the sound of beams snapping and metal grinding. The bridge was falling.

We started to run, trying to make it off of the bridge as quick as possible. I watched as Kait and Alicia jumped onto the other side, while I felt a feeling as if my heart was sinking into my stomach. Kait and Alicia left my sight, as the bridge took me down with it. I hadn't made it. I felt wind whipping around my body, stinging my body, just as it had when I fell onto the net. I looked below me at the rushing water that kept getting closer, closer, and closer.

My eyes flew open when I heard shouts from a distance. A stinging pain shot through my body from my hip. I looked around. I was between two cliffs, water rushed everywhere around me. I tasted blood in my mouth as it trickled down my chin. I had fallen into the chasm. I was dead.

But, why was I feeling pain? I looked down to see that I was partly impaled on a stalagmite in the bottom of the chasm. The water was lower than it usually was.

The shouts were hard to understand, due to the dull throbbing in my ears. "She's alive! I can see her moving!"

I was alive? I looked up to see so many faces staring down at me, rushing around and shouting orders.

Soon, a man that I haven't met before was lowered down into the chasm from some sort of pulley system.

"Rose, can you grab my hand?" he asked reaching toward me. "Oh my god." He whispered when he saw the amount of blood pouring from my face and side.

I blacked out then, my last feeling being the water splashing my face.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

White light shone into my face as I opened my eyes, causing me to groan.

"She's awake." A womanly voice called out.

I looked around me. I was in an all-white room, machines beeped all around me. A woman in a nursing outfit leaned over the bed, handing me a glass of water. "Drink it. You've been through a lot and you're probably parched."

I reached up to grab the glass. A sharp pain shot through my body as I moved, causing me to spill the water all over myself.

The nurse gave me a sympathetic look. "I'll bring a pain serum and another glass of water. A leader's going to be coming in here to question you or whatever. I'll send him in."

She left, but only a moment later, Eric was rushing into the room. He leaned over the bed and pulled me into a hug. The hug left me in extreme pain, but I bared it, pretending nothing was wrong.

"If you scare me like that again, I will kick you out of Dauntless." He spoke while sitting down in the metal chair beside my bed.

"What happened?" I couldn't really remember everything, only bits and pieces. I remember I fell with the bridge, but it stops there.

"The bridge fell with you on it, Rose." Eric said, compete worry in his eyes. "Thank God that the water was low or you would've drowned. You had almost bled to death when they rescued you. I just- I just kept thinking that I had taken out my anger on you so harshly today and I-" Eric stopped and hung his head down. "If you would've died after that, I'd-"

I interrupted him. "Shut up. The fight was fun and you know it. Besides, it's just a scratch."

The nurse walked in with two glasses, one clear and one yellow-ish. Eric collected himself. "So, you say you can't remember any more details?"

I played along. "No, I don't… sir." I added at the end to sound respectful.

I took the liquids, choking a little on the bitter taste of the pain serum. The taste was familiar. I had probably been the one that this was tested on. Of course, I had to be hurt first before they could see if it healed me.

The nurse handed Eric a bag with a needle and vials containing the yellow liquid. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side of the bed. The nurse handed me a crutch, indicating that I had to use it to walk. "I bought some clothes for you to change into. They're in my apartment. That is, unless you want to remain in a hospital gown." Eric joked.

"Why did you leave them in your apartment?" I asked. It was kind of silly. Why would I go all the way to his apartment to change?

"Rose," he spun around to look at me. "The bridge fell. There's seriously no possible way for you to get back to the dorms. Max ordered every initiate that's stuck on the other side to find someone to stay with. You're staying with me."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, as if suggesting why I would want to stay with him. "You're not allowed to argue." He said confidently, holding the door open for me as I stumbled by, struggling to walk with the crutch.

Eric rolled his eyes and swept me up into his arms. He carried me to his apartment, and into his room. He laid me down on his bed.

"I forgot to buy pajamas, so you'll have to wear something of mine." He said, as he began digging through a dresser that was covered with files.

"Why are you being so kind to me?" I asked. "You're buying me clothes, giving me a place to stay."

Eric sighed and sat at the corner of the bed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I thought I lost you today." He whispered.

"Why does that matter?" I asked.

"I was so lonely before I met you. You actually tried to see the real me. You saw through the arrogance and intimidation. I tried to ignore you because I was afraid of my life changing. But, you stuck by me." He ran a hand through his long, black hair. It look tangled, as if he had knotted it up in worriment. "When I thought I lost you, I felt actual loneliness. It's not just being alone. It's having something that you need, and losing it. I took out my anger on you today, and I am so sorry. I just-"

"Eric, don't be sorry. I've told you. But, you don't have to ever worry about loneliness. Never again."

Eric smiled, the left the room. I hadn't noticed that he had laid out a pile of clothes for me. I changed into the baggy pants and baggy shirt that was usually filled with Eric's large muscles.

I closed my eyes, and thought of what Eric had said. I then went to sleep, smiling.


	10. Chapter 9- Gossip

_I heard the rushing of water underneath my feet and the clash as the water hit the cliffs. The bridge of the chasm had been built back, and I stood on it, remembering. _

"_Had close call?" the dainty voice called from behind me. _

_Suddenly, it was if fear had literally gripped my throat. I couldn't breathe. I turned to see Jeanine, and upon realizing my loss of breath, threw her head back and laughed. _

"_Don't worry, little sister." She said as she approached me, her hands now on my shoulders. "You won't be breathing much longer anyways. This is your fault. You tried to forget. You can never forget."_

_She pushed my shoulders and I began stumbling backwards, and… off of the railing. I tried to scream, but nothing came out._

"Rose!" Eric shouted, as he shook me awake.

I put my head in my hands and began to weep. Eric flipped on the bedside lamp, which cast a dull glow throughout the room. He sat down beside me, and placed an arm around me, comforting me. I felt his bare skin against mine. He was shirtless, the toned muscles of his chest sticking out boldly.

He said nothing, just sat there beside me. I inhaled the sweet scent of his cologne and tried to make myself remember the smell in case I became factionless. I laid my head on Eric's chest, and drifted off into a deep sleep.

My eyes blinked open and I looked around confused. Eric's arm was draped across my waist, his head just above mine. He was snoring soundly beside him. I accidentally laughed aloud when I noticed that he was sleeping with his mouth wide open.

Eric stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Oh god," he cursed. "This is so unprofessional. I promise you that I didn't mean to fall asleep like that… or to fall asleep with you at all."

"Don't worry. This is a day at the park compared to the agony I go through when you kiss me." I said, as I laid back down, placing a pillow on my head to block out the light cast by the bedside lamp that was never turned off.

I felt Eric's body shake with a silent laugh, "You kissed back, liar."

"I was taken off guard. You probably have cooties." I joked.

"Guilty," he answered, as he, too, laid back down. "But now we both have them."

I almost fell back asleep until Eric blurted out, "You missed the rankings, by the way."

I shot up from underneath the pillow, making Eric jump up as well, "What did I get?! Am I factionless?!" I shouted.

"Think a little. If you were factionless, you wouldn't be here now." He laughed. "You were in second place, behind Jackson."

I smiled largely. "Who was factionless?"

"Two Dauntless-born and a transfer. Dauntless-born get so cocky and think they don't have to work because they were born here. They usually go fast." He answered.

I grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him impatiently. "Who. Was. The. Transfer!"

"Hmm… What was her name again?" He dragged on, tapping his chin with his finger. "Oh yeah! Kait! She's factionless."

My heart dropped. Kait… gone? Tears started welling up in my eyes.

"Calm down, you big baby. I'm kidding. Sadie's factionless, not your little girlfriend." He teased.

"Eric!" I screamed, punching his arm.

When I punched him, the slept-on hair that messily covered his face moved. He had a purple bruise on his forehead where I had head-butted him. I covered my mouth with my hand, but it failed to be enough to hide my laughter. Eric raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Look at your face!" I struggled to say between laughs. He opened the door in his room that led to the bathroom (the other door in the living room must lead to the same one), and I could hear him mumbled various curse words.

He came back through with the bag of pain serum and the needle. I groaned at the thought of being injected with another serum.

"Hey, it's better than the alternative." He shrugged. "This might seem awkward, but I need you to lay on your stomach and pull up your shirt.

I did as I was told. I heard a gasp catch in Eric's throat. I had forgotten about my scar when I was laughing with Eric. I felt his warm hand rub gently over the scar. "How could anyone hurt you like this?"

"I broke an old man's leg because I was trying to run away. It was my punishment." I answered, pushing back tears.

He continued to trace his fingers across my scar. Normally, if someone would even see it, I would pull my shirt down and probably run away. But, now, I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. I felt cared for.

"If I would've been there, I would've broken more than his legs." He grumbled.

I didn't respond, but jumped when I felt Eric's lips kiss my scar. "I'll never let anything happen like this again," he reassured.

He moved on from the topic, and silently pushed the needle into the skin near my hip and injected the serum. My stomach began to growl. Eric chuckled softly.

"Practice walking on your crutches and I'll make you breakfast." He said, opening the door wide and bring my crutch to me.

"Why do I even need a crutch? My legs are fine." I asked.

"You can't put pressure on that side of you. It might hurt the stitches."

I nodded in response. He stayed beside me, ready to catch me if I fell. I stayed steady though, well steady-ish. I took a seat at the bar stool, while Eric's began cracking eggs into a pan.

A loud knock sounded at the door. Eric opened the door, spatula still in hand. Max stood in the doorway, a furious expression on her face. He clutched a newspaper in his hand so tightly, it was starting to crumble.

"Explain this," he shouted, thrusting the newspaper at Eric.

Eric grabbed it and started to read. I saw his eyes widen and his mouth hang open as he read. "Max, you can't believe this bullshit!" Eric said, giving him back the paper.

"Do we have to take a trip to Candor and have a truth serum test?" Max bellowed.

"It's not necessary, but I would GLADLY take it to clear my name," Eric argued.

Max walked over to me, handing me the paper. "Let's see if you can make sense of this."

**Dauntless Leader Sleeps with Mental Initiate**, the headline read. It was from the gossip column. I remember reading from it when the assistant brought them to me.

_Dauntless initiate Rose Matthews has had a mental disorder and was taken into private lessons since she was a young girl. Upon transferring to Dauntless, she spilled an elaborate tale, including accusations that Erudite leader Jeanine Matthews, her older sister, tortured her in cruel and unusual ways._

_When asked about these accusations, the leader was quoted as saying, "My sister is a poor child, who cannot help how she is. She is in her own fairytale world and cannot decipher it from reality. I am not mad at her for saying these things, but concerned for her. I urge everyone who hears her stories to please ignore them."_

_Apparently her stories have gotten her the special treatment of Dauntless leader Eric Kallian. As Dauntless initiate Edwin Waterson has told us, Matthews has told Kallian her stories and convinced him to have sexual relations with her, out of pity._

I put the newspaper down and covered my mouth in shock. "It's… I didn't lie." I stuttered, tears spilling down my cheek.

Max sympathetically laid a hand on my shoulder. "I know. Four told me about seeing your back. I wish I could do something about this, but we can't break ties with Erudite. We need their resources."

Max said his good-byes and then left. I was still crying, when Eric sat the plate of eggs and bacon down in front of me. "Don't cry, Rose. Everyone knows you're telling the truth. They know I'd never sleep with you."

I ignored his joke. "Why can't she just leave me alone?"

"Because she has a mental disorder and tells untrue stories." He answered.

I laughed and wiped away tears. "I see why you don't let people see the real you. You make terrible jokes."

"Just eat your eggs and shut up," he grinned.

His shirt was still off, and that probably didn't help the whole "sleeping with me" thing. Eric's muscles were enormous. It seemed like every inch of his body, there was some curve or dent in his skin. His hair was unbrushed and still had that just-woke-up look. I liked it best when it looked like this.

"Stop staring. I know I'm hot, but c'mon." He laughed. I hadn't realize that I was staring so obviously. "I'm going to put on a shirt, so you'll eat and stop gawking at me," he laughed as he walked into his bedroom. I took my first bite of the food. Eric was an amazing cook. I thought of his story of having to cook for himself his whole life. A tear slid down my cheek when I thought of the poor little boy being so alone.

"Why the hell are you crying now?" Eric shouted. He had pulled on a black shirt that hug his body tightly. It had the Dauntless flames in red.

"You're a good cook," I answered, continuing the meal.

"My cooking is so good, you're crying?" he asked.

I shrugged and Eric laughed. He was laughing so much now. I remember when he would only sigh. Now, that I noticed, there was more color and life in his cheeks. He seemed… not lonely.

His hand touched my arm underneath my shoulder. "I did this, didn't I?" I looked down to see the scar where his knife had skimmed me.

"Eric, that's most minor scratch on me." I tried to reassure him.

"I still did it. I still hurt you."

"Yeah, and I put that humungous bruise on your forehead." I laughed.

Eric had gone to the Pit to buy me a pair of pajamas. I ended up reading one of the books from his shelf and falling asleep after reading the first paragraph. Healing is exhausting.


	11. Chapter 10- Dauntless Tradition

My shoulders were being shaken, though a tad more gentle than I had been awoken the past few days.

"The bridge is fixed," Eric announced. My eyes fluttered open. Eric was still dressed in his Dauntless shirt and black jeans, except now he wore a frown. He looked more stressed than he usually was. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"I said the bridge is fixed, Rose." His eyes moved as if motioning for me to look behind him. Max stood at the door, his arms crossed angrily as they always were. "The second stage starts tomorrow. Here's your stuff." He placed a bag in my hands. A rather large bag actually. I was pretty sure that I had only wore about one or two outfits during my stay here. This was about an entire closet. Eric winked at me before moving out of my way.

"Do you need another dose of the serum before you go?" Eric asked.

I placed a hand on my hip and pushed down to see if I felt pain. Nothing. I pulled my shirt up to see that the stitches had already dissolved. "Nope," I said popping the 'p'. I had finally healed. I was walking normally too.

I followed Max out of the door, apparently he intended to question me during my walk to the dorms.

"Rose, during your stay with Eric, how did he treat you?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. He was cocky and sarcastic but normal Eric, I guess." I answered nonchalantly.

"Did he…" Max started. "…have… relations with you?"

My eyes opened widely. "No!" I shouted, bringing about attention to Max and myself.

The walk to the dormitory was quiet then on. As I approached, two arms were swung around me, bringing me into a tight embrace that would have hurt like hell if I hadn't been healed already.

"I. Was. So. Worried." Kait shouted.

I laughed and tried to hug back as tight but my small self was not as strong as Kait. I hadn't realized how much taller she was than me until now that my face came to her shoulder.

"Who did you stay with?" I asked, throwing the huge bag of clothes onto my small bed.

"Tori. You know, the one that did my tattoo?" I nodded in response. "Who did you stay with?"

"Eric," I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"YOU STAYED WITH ERIC?" Kait screamed, causing Alicia and Jackson's eyes to widen as they walked into the room.

"I had too. I was in critical condition and the nurse put him in charge of my medication." I sort-of lied. I probably would have asked Eric if I could stay with him regardless.

"What's his apartment like?" Jackson asked, sounding like a young girl.

"There's torture devices hanging from the walls and pools of blood everywhere." I answered with a serious expression.

Jackson's eyes widened in disbelief, but he shrugged it off with a laugh when I rolled my eyes at him.

"Finally!" I heard Zeke scream. He ran into the room, Shauna trailing along behind him. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" He pulled me into a tight hug, tighter than Kait's. Shauna joined in, wrapping her arms around the both of us.

"We're going to celebrate!" Shauna announced, as the two of them let go of me.

"Celebrate what?" I asked.

"You're alive!" Zeke screamed. "So, we're taking you on a little trip that Dauntless tradition."

"I always get hurt with Dauntless traditions."

"You always get hurt… period." Zeke laughed.

I accepted this fact and then opened the bag of clothes to find something to wear.

The clothes were magnificent. Eric had bought a long, flowing, black dress that I knew would hug my slim figure. After searching through, I finally decided on a long sleeved, black shirt that was sort-of low cut, and leather tights that I already owned. I threw my red hair into a messy bun and followed Zeke and Shauna to the "celebration".

The Hancock Tower was enormous. We joined a crowd of Dauntless who were waiting outside. Most of them were Dauntless-born.

As we began walking in, a boy with dark skin and pink hair leaned over to me, "Did you really fall off of the chasm and live?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" I respond with a cocky smile that resembled Eric's.

He shook his head in disbelief. We began climbing staircase after staircase.

I found Zeke in the crowd. "What exactly are we doing?" I asked.

"Let's just say, I hope you're not afraid of heights." He laughed.

Of course, the Dauntless enjoy being at dangerous heights and more than likely jumping off. It seemed like staring death in the face was Dauntless tradition.

We reached the top, and Zeke opened the doors. The cool night air hit my face as we reached the outside. It was the roof. I looked at Zeke confused. Were we really jumping off of this giant-ass building?

"Someone will go first and then you'll see what's going on because you're going second." He whispered into my ear with a grin.

"Who wants to go first?" Zeke shouted, excitement in his voice.

The Dauntless-born trainer known as Lauren stepped up to the edge of the roof, smiling with excitement. Zeke then strapped her into some sort of a harness and clipped it to a line that I saw stretched to _almost _to the bottom of the tower. She took a running start and began gliding down at such a quick pace to the bottom. As she rushed down, she let out a howl of adrenaline. I laughed with her and the rest of the crowd as she reached the bottom and unhooked herself, leaping gracefully to the ground.

"Next!" she shouted from the bottom.

Zeke took my shaking hand and led me over to the edge of the roof. He tightened the harness around me, and clipped it to the line.

"Ready?" he asked, laying a hand on my shoulder.

I didn't have time to respond because the hand on my shoulder pushed me forward… and off of the roof.

The wind began whipping around my body. I was flying. I laughed aloud as the adrenaline coursed through my veins, warming my body to the core. I was moving faster and faster and time seemed to slow down as my pace quickened.

I could no longer feel the harness around me. Had I reached such an extreme point of adrenaline that I lost all the feeling in my body? But, I could still feel the sting of the cold wind hitting my body. I looked behind me to see the harness, flapping in the wind, completely away from me. I then looked down to see the ground quickly approaching me and then darkness.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I'm getting pretty sick of hearing that sound.

"Rose?" a deep voice asked from behind me. My eyes fluttered open, my head pounding with a strong pain.

"Rose." Eric breathed with relief.

"What happened this time?" I asked, tiredly burying my face in the pillow.

"You fell off of the Hancock Tower. Well, from the third story. You have a concussion." He paused for a moment. "You have to be more careful, Rose. These infirmary chairs are insanely uncomfortable. I'm getting pretty tired of sitting in them all the time."

"Yeah, I am too." I laughed a hoarse, dry laugh. "You don't have to come here, you know."

"Yes, I do." Eric replied.

I didn't get to ask what Eric had meant. Zeke burst through the doors and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Rose! I didn't really believe that you get hurt in every situation you're in."

Eric rose from his chair and cleared his throat. "I'll leave you love birds to your reunion then." He left then, slamming the door behind him.

Zeke had walked me back to the dormitory after I had swiped a roll from the kitchens before they had closed. It was 10 pm. Training was at 9 am tomorrow. Eric had warned me before that this stage would require a lot of energy, but my mind was wandering too much and wouldn't let me sleep.

I pulled on my boots and made my way to the chasm, clutching my pained forehead. Eric and I would probably have matching forehead bruises.

Eric sat at the chasm, gazing into the water. He looked as if he had been deep in thought. When I sat beside him, he didn't look at me, but continued to watch the waves below crash into the cliffs.

"He should be more protective of you. He knew how clumsy you are and he basically threw you to your death. You have horrible taste in men." Eric sneered.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Just stating the obvious," he shrugged.

"Eric, I'm not with Zeke. Not in the slightest. He probably has a thing for Shauna." I argued.

"Sure," Eric griped.

"Eric," I asked with a laugh. "Are you… jealous?"

"Why the hell would I be jealous?" he asked.

"You tell me." I teased.

"You've just been treated so horribly all your life and I want you to be treated how you deserve." HE grumbled.

"Eric, I am not attracted to Zeke in any way, shape, or form. You're being a baby. A jealous baby." I joked.

"I am not." He said, anger rising in his tone.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him. He shoved me lightly and looked back down at the waters.

"I care about you, Rose. I don't want some douche to just use you and leave you. You don't deserve that."

"Baby," I laughed.

"If you're going to keep bothering me, I'm just going to bottle up my feelings around you again." He threatened.

"I'm sorry. Don't do that. Thank you for caring." I replied.

"Good. Now, try to get sleep. You're really going to need it."


	12. Chapter 11- Rat Trap

I heard metal clang against metal, as I stirred awake. I was becoming more and more acquainted with this method of a wake-up call. Today was stage two and I probably got about an hour or two of sleep last night. At least it was slightly more than I usually received.

I stumbled out of bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning. Climbing into the lace tank top and black jeans that Eric had purchased for me, I pulled a brush through my extremely tatted hair and applied a slight touch of make-up. I looked exactly how I felt, like shit but confident.

I sat in the cramped room with grey walls among not only the transfers but the Dauntless-born. Four began calling out names and each initiate went into a room and never returned. Eerie, much?

"What do you think this stage is about?" Kait asked.

"Emotions, duh." A blonde Dauntless-born girl whom I immediately hated remarked.

"I know, but how are they going to test our emotions?"

"Maybe they sit us down and tell us we're fat and see if we cry," I laughed.

Kait stuck her tongue out at my sarcasm and gave up on her question. After what felt like a year of waiting, Four finally peaked his brunette head out and called my name.

I rose from my seat and followed Four into a room with the same dull paint job, but filled with equipment similar to what was at the Aptitude Test. Great. A simulation. I should be a professional at these by now.

Eric stood in the corner of the room, arms crossed impatiently. Four motioned for me to take a seat.

"You're going to be in a simulation where we will see how you act when faced with your worst fears." Four explained.

I groaned out loud and laid on the long chair, tilting my head to the side, so Four could inject me with the serum.

Four laughed. "Wow, already prepared?"

"This isn't my first experience with the Fear Simulation." I remarked as he pushed the needle into my neck and I slipped hooked on another world.

I was in my childhood home at Erudite, except the furniture and floors weren't covered by layers of dust. It was as it had been when I was a child. Its floors were sparkling as if Mother had just recently waxed them. It looked like the day I was dragged off to the laboratory.

"Oh, Raaaaaat!" a dainty voice rang from what used to be my bedroom.

I tiptoed in, aware that the simulation would bring about my worst nightmare. Nevertheless, I had to follow the voice and face the fear.

Jeanine stood in the center of the room, beside my small bed with the cover sprawled everywhere like I liked it. She wore her normal blue dress suit and high heels. But behind her… was Eric.

He lay on the ground, a puddle of blood streaming at his body. His eyes were open, a blank expression cast on his now gray face. He was shirtless and in his pajamas that I had become so used to him wearing. On his chest, the words "Rat Trap" were carved and blood dripped from the letters and his mouth.

I brought my hand over my mouth to muffle my screams of horror. Jeanine threw her head back in laughs of pure enjoyment.

"He thought he could take my place. You're my plaything. Not his." She laughed.

I fell to my knees. "Face it, little sister. I will forever be the cat and you will forever be the dirty, unwanted rat."

I covered my eyes with my hands, bidding the simulation to begin. Tears streaming down my face.

Jeanine's laughter stopped. I opened my eyes and looked around me to see the Fear Simulation room. Behind me, Eric was alive, but his mouth formed a tight line. He had watched my fear.

"She's Divergent, isn't she?" Eric finally broke the silence.

"Eric, I mean she might be, but let's not jump to conclusions here." Four pleaded.

I knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to save me. Eric was overseeing the simulations just to weed out the Divergents. I looked at Four who had a somber expression as he typed away at the computer. He was probably Divergent as well.

"Move," Eric ordered, pushing Four out of the way and taking his spot at the computer.

"What are you doing?" Four asked, worriment clear on his face.

I began to feel worry as well. Because of this, I could be murdered. Maybe even Four for trying to save me.

"What does it look like? I'm entering in fake test results." Eric said, annoyed.

"You're actually saving a Divergent?" Four asked.

Eric sighed. Four said aloud, "Oh."

Eric finished typing and moved back to his position in the corner of the room. "Your time was 5:08. That's really good. Please try to not stop the simulation or change it in any way next time. Just go with what it does." Eric warned.

"You may leave now," Four added.

I rose from the chair and walked out of the back door, Eric following me.

"Your fear was me getting hurt?" Eric asked when we were a good distance away from the Fear Simulation room.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess so."

Eric had a smug smile of satisfaction on his face.

"What were your fears?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Just simple fears. Drowning, falling, dying alone, etc. Normal fears." He shrugged.

"If you fear being alone, then why do you push people away?" I asked.

Eric shrugged. I had probably asked the wrong question.

We walked in silence for a while until he asked, "What was your result on the Aptitude Test?"

"Erudite and Dauntless," I answered. "What were yours?"

Eric laughed. "The same."

My eyes widened and I looked at Eric. He nodded in response, smiling as if he was answering my unspoken question that he was indeed Divergent.

It was around dinnertime and before we reached the cafeteria, he told me to enter the room first. It would raise questions if we walked in together. He took his seat beside of Janice, the leader with a shaved head and piercings covering her entire face, at the leader's table. I found Kait at a table and sat beside her. She was tested before me.

"Sooo," she asked as I sat down. "What was your fear?"

I thought of a lie quickly. "Being buried alive. Yours?"

"Killing you along with others that I love."

I placed a hand over my heart. "I'm touched that you fear having to kill me." I joked.

The test the next day went by as usual. I waited for an eternity and a year in a room filled with initiates anxiously biting their fingernails. The test had clearly affected them much more than it had me. Sure, I cried after the test, but everyone else had been driven to their breaking point. As I tried to sleep last night, I kept hearing the sound of transfers crying. Even though Kait seemed to be her usual chipper self at dinnertime, she awoke me last night, screaming in her sleep.

"Rose." Four called out from the room.

I took my seat and tilted my head, awaiting my fear. Eric wasn't in the room this time; probably attending a meeting.

"You're a lot happier than the rest of the initiates." Four noticed. "I'm starting to think that you enjoyed your fear yesterday."

I chuckled lightly at his joke, but his expression turned serious. "Rose, I know something's going on with you two."

I didn't reply.

"I became suspicious in the first stage when I noticed how much attention he paid to you. Normally, he could care less about anyone. Then, your fear was harm coming to him. The last clue was that he covered up your Divergence. Eric wouldn't do that for anyone."

"Eric and I aren't together," I reassured. "I promise."

"But, you do love him." Four didn't really ask, but stated.

I had never really considered my feelings for Eric. I think about him much more than once during the day. And the time I spent with him when the bridge was being fixed were possibly the best days of my life. No, they _were _the best days of my life. I thought back at how I stare at him and how glorious he looked as the moonlight shown upon him. He was so broken, but all I wanted was to fix him, to be there for him, to be _with _him. Was this was love felt like? My heart always ached when I was without him, but I assumed it was just the pain that my recent injuries had brought about. Did I love Eric? I knew the answer. I had always known the answer.

Four realized that I wasn't going to respond and injected the needle into my already inclined neck.

"Think Dauntless," was the last words I heard before fading away.

I smelled the stench of burning and the howl of laughter. A bright orange light shown around me.

Pain. My body was burning and I could feel melted skin and blood trickle down my flesh. I was on fire.

I could see Jeanine in front of me, dancing in rejoice. I let out a soundless scream as I fell to the ground.

Think Dauntless, I reminded myself. I began to roll around the ground. The fire would not extinguish. I knew I couldn't just wish up a bucket of water to rain down on me. It would reveal my Divergence.

I closed my eyes and just gave up.

The pain stopped. I opened my eyes and began to pat down my leg, trying to put out a nonexistent fire.

Four laughed. "Your time was 8:47."

I stood up and began walking out of the door before turning around. "Thank you for trying to save me yesterday. Not a lot of people would do that."

Four smiled. "You're welcome."

I began to walk away. Four called out from behind me, "Be careful with Eric."


	13. Chapter 12- Gotcha!

Today was a free day. Although I didn't get to sleep in as I'd hoped. Edwin chattering loudly and obnoxiously made me roll out of bed with a groan.

I looked over to Kait beside me, rubbing her eyes and then shooting an evil look at Edwin. He had disturbed her sleep too. It wasn't like any of the initiates were sleeping all too soundly due to people awakening with screams from nightmares or having nightmares of their own.

I looked up to see Eric walking into the room with his confident leader stride. "Rose, I need to talk to you for a moment," he announced, sounding as formal and professional as possible.

I whined as I jumped up from my bed and followed Eric to outside of the dormitory. He leaned against the stone wall. Today, he was wearing his usual tight black jeans and a black tank top. I thought to myself that a leather jacket would take the "bad boy" look over the top, but then I realized that he was never getting that leather jacket back.

"So, Four and I have thought of something and Max concurs with this idea." He began.

I raised an eyebrow for him to continue. "We noticed that you're having some trouble getting over your fear of… you know, Jeanine." I flinched at the sound of her name. "And, Max took the idea a little further and thought of a way to clear our names of the lies from that newspaper."

"Just spit it out, Eric," I demanded, impatient and cranky from being woken up.

"There's a ball at Erudite tonight, leaders and their dates only. They throw them every now and then to 'strengthen the bonds between factions' or whatever. But, Max wants you to go."

"How am I supposed to go if it's leaders only? And how is that going to clear our names?" I asked more calmly this time, trying to control my crankiness.

"You'd be amazed at what knowledge I can provide you with if you'd only let me finish my sentences occasionally," Eric smirked. "We're going _together. _You and I are going to pretend to be engaged. You're going to strike up intelligent conversations with other leaders and expose Erudite's lies. Got it?"

My mouth flew open in shock. I couldn't go back to Erudite. I wouldn't. My body began to shake with fear.

Eric placed a calming hand on my shoulder to steady myself. "Hey, I know it' scary as hell for you. But, I'm not letting you out of my sight. No harm is going to come to you. You have my word."

I breathed in sharply, trying to contain myself. I nodded, signaling my approval.

Eric smiled. "Good. Pretty sure there's a dress in that bag I packed you. I'll alert Amanda that you'll be coming into her shop to buy shoes and to charge it to my account, okay?"

"I have to dress up?" I whined.

"It's a formal ball, Rose. _Really _formal."

After giving me a few pointless tips on how to behave and dress, he was gone. I trudged back into the dorms, where Kait was impatiently waiting for me by the door. "What was the about?" she inquired.

"Her little boyfriend probably dumped her." Grumbled Edwin. I ignored him and rushed toward Kait.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door. "What the hell is going on?" she asked.

I filled her in quickly, not skipping a single detail. Kait's mouth flew open and stayed open.

"You have to pretend you're with Eric?" she shouted. Thankfully, no one was around to hear.

I nodded. That wasn't really what I was worried about at all, but of course that's what she had to focus on.

We approached the small clothing store and stepped inside. It was the same one that Shauna had drug my in when I first came to Dauntless. Of course, the walls were black and so were most of the clothes.

I rushed to the back where the shoes were. I didn't really care which ones I got, but Kait sure did. She pretty much insisted that I try on every shoe in the store, and still wasn't fully satisfied when we reached the last one. I liked the first one I tried on. And the second one. And the third. Oh, what the hell? They all looked the same to me.

I picked up a pair of black shoes with a heel that didn't present too much of a challenge for me. "Oh my god, this is like the one!" I squealed, mimicking Kait. She didn't pick up on my teasing, but agreed that this pair was most definitely 'the one'.

I hurried and purchased the shoes. Whom I guessed was Amanda stared at me, wonder in her eyes. She was probably wondering how I had managed to seduce Eric into buying me shoes.

Before we returned, Kait had bought a hair curler so she could curl my hair. I had protested at first, but after seeing her enthusiasm, I just let her go wild.

I never knew that beauty took so much. The woman in the books that I had read seemed to achieve it so effortlessly. She curled my hair, applied about a pound or two of make-up, and after a few hours, she claimed "her work was done". I pulled on the slender black dress and my new shoes and gazed into the mirror. I actually looked stunning. My eyes were darkened out with black eye shadow, which brought out the blue in my eyes, and my lips were painted a dark red, which matched my hair. The dress hug my hips and made me look older, more sophisticated.

Eric had told me to meet him at his apartment when I finished getting ready. I showed up to his apartment after receiving many a wink or whistle on my way.

He opened the door and his eyes widened at the sight of me. "You actually kind of look like someone worthy enough to be my fiancé," he joked.

I stuck my tongue out at him and pushed him aside, taking a seat on the couch with my legs crossed in the way rich people did in novels I had read. Eric looked handsome in his black tuxedo, with his hair hanging messily around his face, the way I liked it.

"You stare at me a lot," he laughed.

"Yeah, and you've been drooling over me since I got here," I retorted.

"Like two seconds ago?" he laughed.

We left and met the other leaders outside of the compound. I hadn't realized that there were Four leaders. This leader was a man with a long, blonde mohawk. A black car was provided for each leader by Erudite. Eric and I climbed into the last one. A black piece of glass separated us from the driver.

Eric sat, gazing out the window at the scenery that we passed by.

I reached over and kissed his cheek, catching him off guard. "What was the about?" he asked, redness forming on his cheeks.

"I haven't really thanked you for what you've done for me." I answered.

Eric laughed and he actually seemed a little shy for the first time since I had met him. "I deserve more than a kiss on the cheek for putting up with you. I deserve a medal."

"You're blushing," I laughed.

"I'm not really used to things like that, you know." He looked down.

I finally had a chance to tease Eric and I am damn well not going to miss it.

"For sitting with me at the chasm." I kissed his forehead. "For taking care of me when I was hurt." I kissed his cheek. "For hiding my Divergence." I kissed his other cheek. I paused at his lips. Our lips were less than an inch apart and he wasn't going to stop me. "For helping me get over me fear of Jeanine," I whispered. I began to inch closer to him, but at the last second, I swerved over and kissed his cheek again. "Gotcha!" I winked.

"Good," he breathed. "I had enough of those sloppy kisses of yours the first time."

"Oh, whatever." I laughed.

We sat in silence until I noticed how close we were to Erudite from looking out the window. I whimpered and closed my eyes.

"Rose, come here." Eric spoke in a calming voice. He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me close. "I promise you that nothing is going to happen." He opened his blazer and showed me a glimpse of the handle of gun that was tucked in a hidden pocket. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"Thank you," I said, laying my head lightly on his shoulder. Eric was a comfort to me. "But, what if it goes horribly wrong?"

"If it goes horribly wrong, then you can stay at my apartment tonight and we'll do whatever you want, even you want me to trip out on a peace serum."

I laughed at the thought of Eric under the influence of a peace serum. "But what if everything goes right? Can I still stay the night and do whatever I want?"

I felt Eric's body shake with silent laughter. "I suppose you can."

The car stopped and I lifted my head off of Eric, and we stepped out. I remembered this building. I was never allowed in it because it was too important and I would mess it up. Jeanine stood the door, a blue shawl around her body, dressed in a loose blue dress and her usual high heels. I shivered at the thought of seeing her and this place again. Eric locked arms with me. I had almost forgotten that we had to pretend to be engaged.

Jeanine was greeting each leader by name as they walked in.

"Max and the lovely Martha. So nice to see you both."

"Janice, how great to see you again! And you've brought Desmond! Have a wonderful time!"

"Jason and Anna! Still inseparable, I see."

We approached her. "Eric! You're looking ravishing. And… Rose." She whispered my name. "Have a lovely time." Jeanine looked down in disbelief and then collected herself to greet the Amity representatives. I was shocked that she didn't call me 'Rat'.

The ballroom was extravagant. Waiters in blue stood about, offering fancy food on plates of expensive china to guests. I looked up at Eric, who flashed me a reassuring smile. "We have to mingle with leaders. Remember, sound intelligent."

A man with slightly long black hair in Candor black and white approached us. "So, here's the new Dauntless leader! Jack Kang, and this is my lovely wife Darla. Nice to meet you." He shook Eric's free hand.

"Eric Kallian, and my beautiful fiancé, Rose." I smiled at the word 'beautiful'.

Darla smiled at me. "I don't mean to intrude on your personal life, but I do believe I read about you in the paper."

"Oh yes," I laughed, trying to sound elegant. "There seems to be a bit of bad blood between my sister and I. She wouldn't be the Candor type."

Jack and Darla's mouths widened. I knew I said just the right words. The Candor hate liars, and knowing what Jeanine did would certainly stay on their minds.

After a bit of light chatter with the Kangs, Eric and I said our goodbyes and went to find another leader.

"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be." Eric whispered to me. "I figured we'd have to jump through hoops to convince them." I laughed, but stopped abruptly before the dainty voice that filled my nightmares called out from behind me.

"Rose?"

Eric and I turned around to see Jeanine, looking afraid to see me. Eric immediately moved in front of me, standing between me and Jeanine.

"Honestly, Eric. I just want to see my sister. I care about her." She pleaded. I knew she was lying.

"That newspaper article said otherwise." He snapped.

"Oh, that silly misunderstanding? I had a word with the editor about that. Twisting my words, how dreadful." She looked directly at me. "Hello, Rose. I meant to see you on Visiting Day, but you know how my schedule is. I heard that you two are engaged. I hope that I will be invited to the wedding."

"You will not be attending our wedding." Eric said through gritted teeth. He turned me around and moved me in the opposite direction, away from Jeanine. But, I looked back to see him still turned toward her, probably saying something. Jeanine's eyes widened and he turned around and locked his arm with mine again.

"What was that about?" I whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"You were saying something to her."

"No I wasn't."

I didn't have time to argue. Jeanine made an announcement for all guests to join them in the next room for dinner.

The table had just enough seats for every leader and their date. I noticed Jeanine had taken one of her assistants as hers. My seat was beside of Eric and Natalie Prior, the wife of one of Abnegation's leaders.

"Thank you for joining my today everyone. We must preserve the bonds between factions in order for our city to remain strong. Together, we provide resources and aid for each other, ensuring a better and healthier life for each of our citizens."

The guests clapped. Eric and I were the only ones that didn't.

I heard Darla discussing the newspaper issue to Johanna Reyes, the speaker of Amity, in hushed whispers across the table.

"It worked," Eric whispered to me.

Marcus Eaton, a leader of Abnegation, called from across the table, "Congratulations to the newest leader of Dauntless. Became a leader and got engaged in less than a year. You work fast, boy." Eaton was alone tonight.

Eric grinned at him, and thanked him.

Jack Kang spoke up, "What factions do the two of you hail from?"

"We're both from Erudite." I answered, a smile on my lips. I saw Jeanine tighten from across the room.

"Fell in love at Erudite?" Marcus asked.

"No, actually we met at Dauntless. My sweet Rose was a little… tied up during her time here."

Jeanine looked petrified.

"Rose is still in initiation. From what I hear, she's doing marvelous." Max said.

I smiled in triumph. I hadn't realized that I was doing 'marvelous'.

"Still in initiation? Boy, you do work fast!" Marcus laughed.

"Hey, when you know. You know." Eric looked down at me, trying to make his expression lovingly.

We left after an hour of random chatter and small hints of Jeanine's work. Eric and I walked into his apartment. I let out a huge yawn as we entered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Really tired but really excited. Does that make sense?" I answered.

"Hardy anything you say makes sense." He laughed.

I went into his bedroom and sat down on his bed, kicking off my heels. I was positive that my poor feet were covered in blisters. "Is that any way to talk to your fiancé?"

Eric scoffed. "You wish."

"But, next time you ask me to be engaged to you, I expect a diamond the size of your ego."

He laughed and threw me a pair of his pajamas. "I'm pretty sure they don't make them that big."

I went into his bathroom and changed quickly into the pajamas, folding my dress neatly on the bathroom sink. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My make-up was smeared, but I was so exhausted that I couldn't care less.

When I returned to the bedroom, Eric had already changed into jogging pants with no shirt. I noticed that he had placed a small ladder at the bottom of the bed. I raised an eyebrow at him, as I climbed up it and snuggled up on the bed.

"You're short and you have to have some way to get on the bed," he laughed.

He began to open a trunk at the foot of the bed, removing a spare blanket and pillow in which he intended to take with him to the couch.

"Eric?" I asked.

He stopped in the doorway. "Yeah?"

"Since you said you'd do whatever I want, sleep with me tonight."

Eric turned around, a look of utter confusion on his face. "You're serious?"

"You said whatever I want."

He dropped the blanket and pillow back into the trunk and sat beside on the bed, still sitting up.

"Why?" he asked. He looked as if he was expecting this to be some sort of trick like the one I played earlier in the car.

"I just faced my worst fear. I need you here to comfort me. Please, Eric."

He pulled aside the large blanket and laid down beside me. He was as far away from me as he could possibly be. At this point, I really didn't care. I needed Eric right now. I had never been comforted or loved and when he comforted me, I didn't want it to stop. I felt as though I wanted to keep being put in stressful situations, so Eric would have to be there for me. It seemed like that was the only time he reached out to me.

I was going to have to make him comfort me. I snuggled over and laid my head on Eric's chest. He stiffened, but when I slung my arm across his chest, he relaxed. He turned over and draped his arm around my waist. My head rested just underneath his chin.

"Goodnight, Eric." I whispered.

"Goodnight, Rose."


	14. Chapter 13- Blind

The alarm clock blared loudly, causing me to jolt upright, slamming into Eric's chin. He let out a whimper that turned to laughter, as he reached over and switched the alarm off. One of his arms were still around my waist. When I looked down in surprise at it, he meekly removed it.

Rubbing his chin, he rose from the bed and began to walk through the door that led to the bathroom. "You need to get back to the dorms before Four shows up to wake everyone up. We really don't need people to think we're sleeping together. And I don't particularly want Four to hassle me."

"Four already thinks we're together. He told me to be careful around you." I said, as I stood up, rubbing my eyes. I followed him into the bathroom, where I planned to get my dress and shoes.

Eric had a white cream smeared all over his face. He began sliding a razor up and down his face. "Be careful around me? Why? It's not like I've had many failed relationships in the past. Or any relationships, that is."

I shrugged. "The initiates think we're together too. I almost told them about the kiss when I was under truth serum. It wore off though, thankfully." I blushed when I mentioned the kiss, and hid my face before Eric could see.

"You weren't really under the serum. You're Divergent. It's impossible. You probably just felt it in your system and believed you had to tell the truth so you did. You could've lied as easily as when you lie about hating the kiss." He grinned deviously, wiping the leftover shaving cream off with a towel, leaving behind a smoothly-shaven Eric.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my dress and shoes. "I'm keeping these pajamas."

"Just add it into the pile with the rest of the clothes you've stolen from me. I'm going to start dressing badly, so maybe I can at least keep ugly clothes."

"I'd steal those too." I said as I stepped into the living room and out of his apartment.

I made it back into the dormitory mere seconds before Four walked in. I had just enough time to duck under the blankets and pretend to be asleep.

"How did it go last night?" Kait asked as I changed out of Eric's clothes into a black skirt, burgundy tank-top and Eric's leather jacket.

"Scary." I answered, struggling to pull the tight skirt on.

"Which part? Dealing with Jeanine or pretending to be hopelessly in love with Eric?"

I grinned at the irony. "Both."

"Did you clear your name?" Four asked as I took my seat and tilted my head.

"Yeah, after about five seconds after we arrived. Candors are surprisingly easy to convince."

Four laughed. Eric stood in his usual spot, arms crossed, with torn black jeans and a black v-neck. He looked like his normal mysterious, badass self.

"Ready?" he asked. When I nodded, he poked the needle into my skin.

I was in Eric's apartment, his bedroom to be exact. I looked behind me to see Eric emerging from the bathroom, his shirt off and his hair messy. "Hey sexy," he breathed.

I cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "Go ahead and play hard-to-get. You know I love a challenge," he sneered. He broke the space between us and pushed me against him. His lips found mine in no time. It wasn't the sweet, tender kisses that he had given me when we first kissed. It was rough, violent even.

"Eric," I pleaded. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and pushed me onto the bed.

"Eric, stop." I cried as he pulled my shirt over my head. He pinned me down, rougher than he had when we had our fight on the last day of stage one.

Tears were flowing down my face. I knew it wasn't real, but it felt so vivid, so real. I felt the pain of my heart shatter when he began removing my pants… and then his.

I could no longer feel Eric's comfy bed, or the weight of his body on mine. I opened my eyes to see the Fear Simulation Room. Four typed away at his computer, a blank expression on his face.

But, Eric's mouth formed a tight line, as if he was fighting an internal battle to keep his emotions restrained. I looked at him with pleading, tearful eyes. He looked as if he was about to say something, but was stopped short when the door to the room swung open.

Max stood at the doorway, breathing heavily, teeth clenched.

"Four, please leave the room." He tried to say calmly but failed epically.

I began to shake with fear. Had he found out that I stayed with Eric last night? Four finished typing and left the room.

"I just received word from Jeanine. I suppose you know what it was about?" Max said.

Eric face went white. "I might."

"You threatened the leader of Erudite with a gun? You risked breaking the bond of the factions over a petty sister rivalry?" Max shouted. Four and the remaining initiates could definitely hear Max from the outside of the room.

I turned around and faced Eric. "You threatened Jeanine?"

Eric nodded meekly. "Tomorrow, you and I will go to Erudite and you will give her a sincere apology, regardless of what she's done. For the well-being of Dauntless." Max bellowed.

He spun on his heels and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Eric grabbed my arm and pulled me from my seat. "Your time was like 7 minutes, now come on."

We walked out of the room. "Eric, what were you-" I began to shout. "Not here!" he yelled back.

Silently, he dragged me to his apartment. Opening the door, he pushed me inside. "Okay, now you can get your nagging out."

"Eric, what the hell were you thinking?" I screamed at him. "You could've been kicked out of Dauntless!"

He rolled his eyes at me. "I didn't want there to be any trouble!"

"You started the trouble! We were to clear our names and that's it! Are you kidding me?" I yelled.

Eric sat at the bar in his kitchen. I still stood at the doorway in the living room area.

"She deserved it." He didn't yell, but near whispered the words.

"I don't care if she did or not. You could have ruined your life, Eric! She's the leader of the most powerful faction of the city!"

He put his face in his hands. "Rose, she hurt you. She hurt you ways that won't ever heal. I'm sorry that I felt a sort of pride by showing her that if she tried again, I'd hurt her in ways that won't heal."

I was screaming to the top of my lungs now. "Why do you want to risk everything just to feel tough? Goddammit, Eric! Why do you want to punish her so badly for something that happened before you knew me?"

He jumped up from the bar and was standing now. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it, with so much anger. "Why do you have to be so blind?" he was screaming louder than I could ever possibly scream. "Why do you have to be so stupid, Rose? Don't you see it? I take care of you. I bought you so much. I've risked everything for you!"

I was frozen to the spot. He was breathing so hard. He looked so broken.

"I love you, Rose. I love you so much it scares me. That's why I had to threaten Jeanine. I'd rather die than to let her hurt you again."

I was still speechless. This was the part where I was supposed to rejoice that he loves me, to run in his arms and live happily ever after.

"Say something," he pleaded. "Anything."

My mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. I never thought something so wonderful like this would happen to me. I searched my brain, but I still could not think of words worthy enough to say to him.

"You don't love me, do you?" he asked, his expression falling. I saw him then, I saw that poor little boy with no parents and no love. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen. My heart crumbled at this sight.

I heard the shattering of glass and Eric's heart as I saw him push all of the dishes and glasses off of the table. The fell to the floor and each one fell to pieces.

"Eric!" I finally mustered.

"Don't." he snapped at me. "I don't need your pity. I don't need you."

I ran to him then and I cupped his face in my hands. He was so much taller than me, but somehow I managed.

"I couldn't think of any words that were worthy enough to say to you. How I feel for you can't be defined by words." I breathed. "I love you, Eric."

His expression changed to one of surprise. Tears began to flow from his eyes. I had to take a second look to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating. Eric was crying.

"Did I say the wrong thing?" I asked, worried. "Why are you crying?"

"No, you said everything perfectly. It's just, I've never heard someone say that they love me before."

I wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his cheek where the tears once more. "I love you," I said as our lips collided.

It wasn't rough and violent like from the simulation, nor was it sweet like from the first kiss. Eric kissed me passionately, with such a longing that only caused me to stand on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

My fingers started to intertwine themselves in his long hair. His strong arms wrapped around my body, leaving no space between us. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, being able to kiss him easier, more passionately.

We stood like this for what felt like forever, but I was sure that it was only a matter of seconds. Eric laid me down on his bed, and began to trace little kisses down my neck and on my collarbone. I groaned at the pleasure of finally being truly happy and in love. We kissed gently for a while, but Eric's hand began to trace my stomach and soon, he was pulling his leather jacket off of me. He stopped before he pulled my shirt off and gave me a look, as if asking if this were okay. I nodded and encouraged him to go on. I then lifted his shirt up, skipping asking him if it was okay. I knew what would soon happen and I was perfectly fine with it. I wanted to give myself to Eric, to give him the ultimate gift to profess my undying love for him. I rubbed my hands across his chest, as our lips continued to collide. He began to undo the zipper of my skirt, and pulled my skirt down, leaving my legs bare. I reached for his belt and began to undo it before he pulled himself off of me.

"We can't do this," he said out of breath.

"What did I do?" I asked, sitting up.

"Your fear today," he said. "It was me taking advantage of you."

"Eric, I know you wouldn't do that."

He cupped a hand on my cheek. Our foreheads were touching. "I want to prove it to you. I want to prove that I want you for you, not just for this. I love you, Rose."

I smiled at his sweetness. "I love you, Eric."

I began to reach for my clothes when he grabbed my arm. "That doesn't mean that you absolutely have to put your clothes back on." He grinned deviously. I laughed and gave in.

I curled up on his chest, like I did the night before. Except this time, there was no space between us. His arms were wrapped tightly around my body like he was afraid that if he let go for a second, I would fly away. I reached up and kissed his soft lips before laying my head down and falling into the best sleep I have ever had.


	15. Chapter 14- Play The Villian

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

I smiled, half asleep, as the soft trickle of rain poured down. I loved sleeping to the sound of the sweet drizzle outside.

I smiled even wider when I realized where I was. I was in Eric's apartment, his bed to be exact, and there was no place on earth I'd rather be. My heart fluttered when I heard the soft purr of his snoring beside me. Well, not exactly a soft purr, nor anything like sweet snoring. It was more of a gurgling sound.

My heart sank. How could I hear rain? Dauntless headquarters was like an enormous coliseum made of stone. The sound of rain couldn't penetrate that, and this sound of loud as if it was raining in this very room.

_Oh, well. _I thought. _Perhaps Eric spilt something. _

_Eric. _I remembered, smiling sweetly. His breath-taking self was sleeping soundly mere inches from myself. I began to reach over to slide my arm across his muscular chest, eyes still closed.

My hand made contact with his cold, still body. My eyes flew open when my hand slid into a warm, thick liquid. Eric lay beside me, his eyes and mouth open wide as if he were still in shock. His breathing was nonexistent.

Blood poured from the gaping hole in his chest that read 'RAT'. It flowed over him and dripped onto the floor.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

My mouth flew open, trying to form a scream. Nothing came out, as I tumbled back and onto the floor, backing away, as tears flowed just as the blood from Eric's chest did.

"Eric!" I finally screamed.

"Rose." A response came, shaking me awake.

I shot up and fell into the muscular arms of Eric. He cupped a hand on the back of my hand, gently rocking me.

"It was just a dream." He cooed.

Tears still flowed freely from my eyes, as I gripped Eric tightly against me. His shoulder was wet with my tears.

He laid back down on the soft, silky bed and pulled me atop his chest. My crying has ceased to a dull whimper.

"Now what was it about?" he said with a kiss to my forehead, as he began to play with my tangled mess of hair.

"You d-died," I said through whimpers.

He let out a quiet chuckle. "I seriously doubt you care that much for me."

"You've seen my fears, jerk." I laughed, no longer crying.

He squeezed me into a tight hug, lingering there with his arms around me. I nuzzled into his neck, savoring the sweet smell and feel of Eric.

"What would you do if I died?" I asked randomly, unsure of why the question had crossed my mind.

I felt him stiffen. "There wouldn't be a reason to continue living. My entire life, all I've ever known was being broken. Now that I've felt how it feels to be whole, to have a purpose in life, there's no going back. A man can't live without his heart, Rose. And now you have mine."

I reached up and kissed him softly and slowly, trying to make every embrace of our lips last forever.

I pulled away, asking with our foreheads against each other's, "Eric, if I die, suicide can't be an option. You have to promise me."

His eyes closed, as if he was deep in thought. His grip tightened on my waist, pulling me so close that absolutely no space lay between us.

"I promise." He said in such a whisper that I barely caught it. "But, if… something happened to you, I can't promise that my death won't lie in someone else's hands."

"You can't have someone else kill you, Eric. That counts."

"Oh, I wouldn't. I'd spend the rest of my life playing the villain. You know as well as I do that good always triumphs evil. When is the last time you read a book where evil won? Never." He replied. "It wouldn't be that much of a stretch. Everyone hates me already. I'll side with evil even if it means I'll be damned."

I sighed and laid my head on his chest. He took my chin in his hands, bringing my face look at his. "But don't talk like this. Nothing is going to happen to you. You're the light at the end of my tunnel. If there's any type of a righteous God, I'm sure he would have the decency to not take something so perfect away from me."

I smiled and kissed him softly. However, those soft kisses became more passionate as I envisioned our life together, with Eric always by my side.

He let out a deep moan, as the door of his bedroom swung open.

Four stood in the doorway, a look of pure horror on his face. I pulled away from Eric, revealing to my terror that I was still in my bra and panties from last night.

"Oh my god," Four shouted, as he pulled the door shut and sprinted into the living room.

"Jesus Christ." Eric grumbled, sitting up from the bed and making his way out the door. "Put some… uh… clothes on, I guess." He had left the door cracked open just enough for me to see into the living room with one eye, although I could hear them quite clearly when I leaned in enough.

Eric sat on the couch, shirtless, with his face shamefully in his hands. Four sat beside him, stiff looking, in a black v-neck with matching black pants. He had an expression of pure embarrassment.

"So," Four began, his mouth forming a tight line as if he had absolutely no idea to begin.

"I love her." Eric began, cutting him off. He raised his face out of his hands to face Four. Although I couldn't see that side of his face, I knew his expression was void of all amusement, but more serious.

Four remained stiffened, but a look of relief washed over his face. "I know. I guess I just wasn't all that prepared when I walked into the apartment that I was going to interrupt you sleeping with an initiate."

"I wasn't sleeping with her."

"Sorry, 'making love'." Four corrected.

"No, idiot. I mean there was no sexual contact at all. I've only kissed her. For Christ's sake, she was my _first _kiss." Eric said, completely annoyed.

"If there was no sexual contact, then why was she naked? Don't tell me it got too hot in your apartment. It's actually pretty chilly."

"You saw her fear. I felt like I was just proving it true, even though I knew it wasn't real." Eric argued. "Why the hell are you in my apartment anyways?"

"You never showed up to go to Erudite to apologize with Max, so he sent me to get you. I guess he figured that you had overslept, so he gave me a key to just walk in. You got lucky, Eric. Imagine if Max had decided to get you himself."

Eric jumped up. "Shit! I forgot about Erudite! God, I'm definitely losing my job."

He ran into the bedroom, running into me. He smiled when he realized that I had been eavesdropping.

"You're devious," he grinned, kissing me quickly. He pulled the first shirt he found on the floor over his head and started for the front door.

"You're not going to tell Max this, are you?" he asked Four.

Four rose from his awkward position on the couch and begin making it to the doorway behind Eric.

"I'm keeping this a secret, but not for you. I'd rat you out in a heartbeat. I'm not telling, but only for Rose's sake." Four answered, pushing Eric out of his way and out the door he went.


	16. Chapter 15- Silver Flash Of Metal

Eric had decided to walk me back to the dorms before returning to the hell known as Erudite. Today was only a half day, where we would return to the Fear Simulation room to receive our final simulation and then be ranked.

I looked to my side at the tall, muscular man beside me, his messy black hair covering those beautiful blue-green eyes. He noticed me staring and flashed that pearly white smile.

"If only I had known why you stared at me so much, I probably wouldn't have to go buy a new set of dishes today," he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

We stopped in front of the initiates' dormitory. He looked around to see if anyone was near before lightly brushing his lips against mine. "I'll be back in an hours, tops. Or at least before rankings start."

I nodded and then turned to enter the room in which I had hardly even been in for the last week. Kait sat on my small bed, patting the space beside her as if she wanted me to sit down.

"I knew it." She smiled.

"Knew what?" I asked, worry of what she might have seen.

"That's how you've been doing so well in ranks. You're sleeping with Eric to get ahead."

"I am most certainly not!" I screamed. "I don't know what has gotten into you!"

"I saw you kiss, liar!" she screamed so loud that I was sure all of Dauntless heard.

I began to tear up.

"You don't know all you think you know, initiate." A deep voice called from behind me, causing Kait's eyes to widen. "Maybe you should keep your overly large nose out of other people's business unless you would like me to assign hard labor as a fitting punishment."

I turned around to see Eric standing tall and intimidating in the doorway. He looked insanely calm, unlike Kait.

"It's… it's not f-fair." She stuttered.

"I hardly see how it's not. After all, Four handles the ratings. I only supervise." Eric explained. "Wait, why am I explaining myself to _you_? An initiate that's almost last? You're barely important."

And with that, Eric spun around and exited the room. Kait was shaking and for once, her trademarked smile was nowhere to be seen.

"Get out. I never want to see your desperate self again." She ordered through clenched teeth.

"Desperate?" I inquired.

"Yes, desperate. You just always have to be better than everyone else. You… you, rat." She seemed rather surprised that those words had come from her mouth, but still, she remained hostile and never took back her words.

Hot tears pricked at my eyes, and I ran out of the room before she could see them. There was only one place I could go. The chasm. Its rushing waters and roaring waves have calmed me from worse grievances.

I took my usual spot against the wall of rock at the edge of the bridge. It was such a wonder that this chasm can offer me such comfort, yet such fear. To think, mere days ago, I had almost lost my life because of this chasm and so many Dauntless had fallen to their deaths throughout the years. I recalled Four telling, during our first tour, of how an initiate falls to their death every year. Was I that initiate this year?

"I heard screaming. Are you and Eric fighting _already?_" Four sat down beside me.

I laughed a hearty, almost needful laugh. "No. I guess… I just… I don't really have trustworthy friends."

"You have me." He said, making me smile. "And Zeke. And Shauna. And that Amity transfer."

"Actually, you mean just you, Zeke, and Shauna." I corrected.

"Oh." He replied. "Ohhh." He said again, but actually understanding this time.

I nodded.

"Well," he said, probably feeling awkward. "It's about time to get to the last simulation of stage two. No offense, but you could use a shower. You have Eric sweat all over you."

I laughed aloud. "Okay, you're probably right. See ya, Four."

I made my way back to the dormitory, praying that Kait had already left. However, upon entering the dormitory, I realized that today just wasn't my lucky day. Not only was Kait still on my bed, but she was whispering into Edwin's ear. When she noticed me, she stopped. Way to be obvious, Kait.

I averted my eyes from them and took out the first two articles of clothing I could saw and hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

It had honestly been awhile since I had a shower, that wasn't just a sponge bath from the nurses at the infirmary that I so often visited. Going into the first stall, I took off my clothes and started the warm water, which felt like a gift from God as it ran down my aching joints. I began to wash over my body, taking off the supposed "Eric sweat".

Right as the warm water began to stop flowing, I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the stall door. Edwin was standing just outside it. Great.

"Heard a little rumor about you." He laughed.

"That's nice." I replied. I began to walk over to a mirror where I began to brush my hair, trying to ignore Edwin. As I looked into the mirror, I saw Edwin behind me, quietly strolling over to the door and locking it.

I turned around in a hurry. "What are you doing?" I shouted.

"Let me guess," he sneered. "You gave him a little sob story about how you were abused, and I bet he ate that right up."

"No, you don't understand." I pleaded.

I saw the silver flash of metal emerge from his coat pocket. "Whores like you don't deserve special treatment. Your sister was right. You're nothing but a rat."

I screamed as he pushed me to the ground, my towel flying off in the struggle. He was too strong for me. I'd never be able to push him off.

"So, this is the body that Eric risked everything for? Wow, that man has some low standards."

He pushed me onto my stomach and I felt his blade pierce my back. I screamed as loud as I could manage, but no one came to my rescue. I felt the blade carve into my back, 'R' and then an even deeper 'A'. Before the 'T' my life faded into blackness.

Kaitlyn Zander had always had a very happy life, although she hated whenever someone cheated or was used. She hated Rose for what she had done and hated herself even more for trusting her.

She liked Edwin, a little more than friendly, for he was so strong and brave, and….well, Dauntless. She jumped on her first chance to impress him and spilled everything about Rose's dirty little secret. He smiled at this, and laughed at every naughty little detail. When Rose came back to the dorms, Kait panicked, but Edwin assured her that he had everything under control.

She laughed herself silly as he followed her into the bathroom, imagining him shaming her and laughing at her. But, when she heard Rose's screams, Kait began to get worried.

_She's probably just alarmed because he saw her undressed, _Kait assured herself.

But, the screams grew more terrified…more painful. Kait had never heard such terror before in her peaceful home at Amity.

_Maybe I should just see what the excitement's all about._ Kait decided, as she turned the doorknob to enter the bathroom, realizing that Edwin had locked them in.

Before Kait could react, Jackson had walked in, probably to get ready for the simulation himself.

"What the hell is going on?" he screamed, sprinting over to the door, straining to pull it open.

"Edwin is in there with Rose." She answered.

"Open up!" he screamed, now trying to kick open the door.

Now all the initiates poured in, eager to see what was going on.

"Something's happening. Jeff, get Four! Hurry, you moron!" Jackson screamed at the Candor boy. Alicia had begun to pace around the room after Jeff had never came back. The screams had stopped now.

When Alicia had started to exit the room to find somebody, anybody, Eric sprinted into the room, Four, Max, and Jeffrey trailing from behind. Kait hid behind her bed, trying to escape this panic, but peeking out to see what happened.

Eric kicked down the door without even taking a running start, sending splinters flying in every direction. Max and Four shielded their eyes, but Eric ignored them and ran into the bathroom.

Kait stood up to see the situation better as she witnessed Eric falling to his knees in pure agony at the sight of his unconscious girlfriend laying naked in a pool of her own blood. Max ran into the bathroom and tackled an escaping Edwin, handcuffing him to a pipe.

Eric had picked up Rose, wrapping a towel around her body. He ran out of the room, tears streaming down his face. Four ran behind him frantically.

Max, out of breath, turned to Edwin. "I don't exactly know the details, but I can promise you one thing: this will result in the death sentence."


	17. Chapter 16- The Last Wall

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

God, I hated hearing that sound all the time.

"Can you count how many accidents she's been in, Max? Can you count _that _high? She needs to be watched." A deep voice with an argumentative tone semi-shouted.

"Why do you insist this, Eric? I interviewed that kid. He said it was revenge because she was sleeping with you to get ahead. First, that magazine article and now this? Eric, be honest for God's sake."

"Are you seriously accusing me of that?" Eric shouted now. "The kid probably saw the article and believed it!"

"He said he was told that another initiate saw you kiss." Max responded.

"And you're going to take this psychopathic, murderous monster's word over mine?"

"I'm not accusing, just asking." He assured. "But, don't act like I was born yesterday. I know you. You couldn't give two shits about anyone and now you're acting like it's the end of the world unless a little initiate moves in with you so you can make sure she's okay? I know there's something here no matter how much you deny it. I may not have been born an Erudite, but I'm no moron." Max paused and I heard the scuffle of footsteps. "That being said, I know she's a target amongst the initiates. She's a pretty good Dauntless and I'd like to not worry about her either. It'd be one less thing on my mind if I just pushed her into your hands. You're a leader now, Eric. You can make decisions on your own."

I heard light footsteps shimmy into the room, followed by heavier ones.

"Tell him what you told me." Four's voice said with a grim tone.

"We're unsure of if she's going to live. She lost a lot of blood." A womanly voice spoke from a distance.

What? I'm perfectly fine. "Mhhm mhhhmm mmm." I mumbled in an attempt to show I was okay.

"Rose! She's awake, sort-of." Four shouted. I felt something hit the side of my bed, like Four had ran really fast and forgot to stop.

"Step aside, gentlemen," the womanly voice ordered. Just then, I felt a needle pierce my neck, followed by the pain of the fluid entering my veins.

I could now open my eyes and sit up a little.

"An energy boost shot." The blonde nurse announced.

Eric stood by my bed. He had stubble on his face from a couple of days without shaving. He wore the same clothes from earlier that day.

"A moment?" he asked the other two, who nodded and left the room. Four went last, after stopping momentarily to give me a gentle hug.

As the door swung close, Eric pressed his face against mine, kissing me passionately, longingly. He kissed me as though he had believed that he would never be able to again.

When he pulled away, I finally asked, "What happened?"

"You almost died, Rose." He said, and I realized that he was on the brink of crying. "Edwin… he attacked you. You've been in a coma for three days."

"Three days!" I shouted. Suddenly, it all came back to me; Edwin trapping me, pinning me to the ground, carving me, and then darkness. I remembered the hot pain and fury that left me in pure agony.

I thought of Eric's unshaven face and unchanged clothes from three days ago. "You haven't left this room in three days, have you?"

"Just for bathroom breaks." He grinned. "What if I left for something and missed you waking up?"

I smiled and pulled his lips onto mine, kissing him softly.

"I do have _some _good news for you." He said, taking my hands. "I am a leader so I decided that the only way to assure your safety is for you to move in with me."

I smiled, remembering how he had pleaded with Max mere minutes before.

"When?" I smiled.

"Now."

The journey back to the dormitory to get my things was perilous. Well, for me. To Eric, it was nothing but hilarious. The pain serum that I had been given was injected in my legs and was so strong that I couldn't feel them. At all. So, as I 'walked' down the hallways, clinging to walls and tables and Eric, I may knocked over numerous items and fallen a few times. Eric insisted on carrying me, but I was too proud.

About halfway there, he ended up picking me up against my will, while I kicked and punched to be released. Every initiate was in the dormitory, save for Edwin.

Kait walked up to me and opened her mouth to speak. But, Eric's remark of "save it, bitch" shut her right up. Not that I had any problem with that.

Jackson hugged me and as Eric packed my things, he told me the story of how Eric had kicked the door down and rescued me, making my heart fluttered.

When we reached the apartment (OUR apartment), Eric sat my things down and snaked an arm around my waist, kissing me tenderly. I twisted his long, black hair with my fingers and pushed our bodies even closer, deepening the kiss.

As expected, I was lifted up in his arms and laid gently on our bed. He began to rub his hands down my body, going lower and lower. I welcomed him to it and pressed soft kisses down his neck and collarbone.

"I thought I lost you." He said between kisses, his lips touching mine as he spoke.

"You'll never lose me."

Gently, as if he were afraid that that I was a porcelain doll that could break so easily, he pulled my shirt over my head. But not before shooting me a look as if asking if it was okay, to which I nodded in response.

We took turns in the removing of clothes; his shirt, my pants, his pants, my bra, his boxers, and then finally, my panties. And every time, he rose his eyebrows, asking permission to continue.

As his body lay overtop of mine, fitting like a puzzle piece, he looked down at me.

"Rose, are you sure?"

"I've never been surer in my life." I responded, crashing our lips together yet again.

He entered me, awkwardly at first, for it was both of our first times. It ached at first, a throbbing really, but I focused on my undying devotion for Eric and the pain subsided. It wasn't a dirty act of pleasure. It was us finally breaking down the last wall between us, giving ourselves, all of ourselves, to one another. This was something that you can only give to one person, only once, and I chose Eric without even a second though. I smiled when I realized that he had indeed chosen me as well.

He was slow, gentle is nothing else. It seemed as though our lips were never apart for even a mere second.

Our bodies intertwined together, he whispered between kisses, "I love you, beautiful."

"I love you." I smiled against his lips.

It seemed like a lifetime (I only wished I could spend a lifetime like this), but eventually, the passionate act was over. I laid on Eric's chest, his arms wrapped around me.

"Can we spend the rest of our lives together?" I asked, curling closer to the beautiful man beside me.

"Yeah, you should know that you're never going to be able to get rid of me now." He laughed, kissing my temple.

"I'd never want that."


	18. Chapter 17- Shoot Her

I woke up to the feel of a beating chest underneath me, slow and steady. I smiled as he stirred underneath me.

"Why'd you have to wake up?" Eric asked. "You look like an angel in your sleep."

"Are you implying that I don't look like an angel while I'm awake?" I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him.

"You always did ask a lot of stupid questions, from the moment I met you."

I threw a pillow at him and made my way to the all-white bathroom. It had been a week since I moved in and Eric and I had passionately made love. The third stage had been put off for a week due to the circumstances of what happened with Edwin, but I did get in 3rd place in the second stage. They said it was to give me time to recover and to mentally move on, but I know it was just so they could decide what to do with Edwin. They had taken action yesterday. Eric refuses to tell me what went on (I just wanted him to be factionless), but I know he received the death sentence. I hate the thought of someone having to die because of me, even though Eric continually assures that he deserves a worse punishment than Dauntless could possibly offer.

My thought was cut short when a pain hit my stomach. I shrugged it off and began to brush my teeth. This only made the nausea worsen. I stopped momentarily, but continued brushing, thinking that if I just ignore the pain, it'll go away.

As always, my luck is nonexistent. I thankfully made it to the toilet fast enough before I began to throw up everything in my body. I hurriedly flushed and returned to brushing my teeth when Eric walked in.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked, snaking an arm around my pained stomach. "You look as pale as a ghost."

I couldn't tell Eric I was sick. He worries too much. I could stub my toe on the table and he would set whoever made the table on fire.

"Well, it's not like I can actually get a tan while staying in this compound all day."

"So, work outside after initiation. You have good enough ratings to be in the guard or something." He believed me.

"I think I want to work in the infirmary. It seems like I'm in there half the time anyways, might as well get paid for it." I answered.

Eric laughed and kissed my cheek. "Maybe you could be a leader. Think of all the time we'd spend together."

"You'd get sick of me." I laughed.

I made my way to the cafeteria for breakfast. Eric always offers to cook it for me, but this gives me a chance to spend time with Zeke and Shauna.

I took my usual seat beside of them. They knew of my relationship with Eric. Four insisted on telling them because if we didn't, he would end up telling Zeke anyways after a couple beers. After a couple minutes of pretending to throw up, they were perfectly fine with it and I know they would take the secret to their graves.

"So, we bought you something yesterday." Shauna announced as I sat down.

She took a small, plastic whistle from her pocket and handed it to me. "When you get hurt this stage, since you always get hurt," Zeke laughed. "You can blow it, and we'll come to your rescue."

"Thanks, guys." I laughed. "Although, I'm not sure if I'll need it. I've fallen off of the Hancock Tower. I've been stabbed by a maniac." I paused after saying this. It still hurt to speak so lightly about it. "Hell, I'm the only one to ever live after falling off of the chasm. I'm pretty sure I'm invincible."

Zeke and Shauna laughed, agreeing with me.

After eating breakfast and talking with my only friends, Four came to take me to the Fear Landscape room, considering that I had no idea where it was. At some point during the break, the rest of the initiates had been given a tour and been informed exactly what was going to happen. I was still being nursed back to health by Eric, which meant him making me eggs and bacon every day and massaging my feet, even though I couldn't really feel them.

"So basically, you will be facing every fear you have back to back. People normally have anywhere from 8 to 24 fears."

"How many fears did you have?" I asked, staring at my shoes.

"Four."

"Oh, so that's how you got your nickname." Four nodded in response. "So, what's your real name?"

"Pumpernickel." He answered sarcastically.

"Very funny, wise guy." I laughed. "Oh, well. Maybe somewhere down the line, you meet this awesome girl and you love her so much, you tell her your real name."

"You think too much, Rose."

Eric stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by initiates. He looked so handsome in a black tank top featuring skulls and cross bones and black jeans. If only he had a leather jacket to match it, but it was too busy being worn by me at the moment.

I wanted ever so much to just wrap my arms around him, but we keep our life private at the moment. Although, I could hear the whispers about me moving in with him, filling the cafeteria when I ate breakfast and dinner.

"Today, you were going to go through Lauren's fears but there is now eleven of you and I have eleven fears, so you will be going through mine. I've assigned each of you a fear that I think will benefit you the most."

Lauren began to speak, "I suppose we'll do this in order of how you ranked. First up, Jackson."

Jackson walked into a glass room and Eric injected him with a serum. His fear must have involved hand-to-hand combat because Jackson was struggling with an imaginary threat.

"3 minutes; 4 seconds." Lauren announced.

After a Dauntless born emerged from his fear with tears streaming down her face, it was my turn. I couldn't help but wonder what caused her to be so distressed.

As Eric began to inject me with the serum he said, "Now, Rose. This is a very… special fear. I assigned it to you because only you can see this. So, when people ask what it was, you have to lie."

I never answered because the effects of the serum began to take over. I was in a room, like the Aptitude Testing room, made of mirrors. I saw a million of myself.

In the middle of the room, a chair appeared. In this chair was a short woman with fiery, crimson hair. Her skin was pale and her lips were painted to match her hair. She was… me. The other me flashed me a wicked smile.

"Do it." Eric's voice ordered from some unknown source.

I looked around the room and my eyes locked on the gun that lay on a table at my side.

"Shoot her."

This was it? I had to shoot myself? I knew it wasn't actually me because, well, I'm me.

I easily picked up the gun and fired at myself. "I" fell to the ground with a _thud._

I came to standing in the Fear Landscape Room, my arm still extended as if I was holding a gun.

"Your time was 2 minutes; no seconds." Lauren announced, looking surprised.

"How did you get through that so fast?" Jackson asked, looking proud.

"I wasn't afraid of it. I just had to kill myself." I answered.

"Hmm… who knew Eric would be afraid of suicide. It's kind of a weird fear. I mean, just don't do it and you don't have to worry." He shrugged.

"What was your fear?" I asked.

"I was being bullied or harassed or whatever and I ended up fighting them."

I nodded. Poor Eric. That probably has happened to him so many times. This brought my train of thought back to Eric. Why was this such a special fear? It wasn't really anything.

After today's Fear Simulations, I caught up with Eric on the way to our apartment.

"What did you see when you went through the fear landscape?" he asked before I managed to get a word out.

"Nothing really that bad. I shot myself, like a clone of me. What's the deal with that? Are you afraid of killing someone that looks just like you?"

"My fear isn't killing myself. It's hurting you. Ever since I first saw you at the Choosing Ceremony, when I go through that damned simulation, I have to shoot you. I didn't even know you, but I was already so afraid of you getting hurt. I tried avoiding you, but I couldn't stay away."


	19. Chapter 18- Damsel In Distress

Ah, a free day. Imagine facing your worst nightmare every day, and even dying occasionally, and then finally having a break. A glorious break where you can lay on your boyfriend's couch all day, re-reading my favorite book, while he showers me with bacon and eggs.

If only this was actually how my beloved free day happened. Eric did make me eggs and bacon for me, but it didn't hold well and it was thrown up into the kitchen sink, while Eric wasn't looking.

"What's wrong with you lately?" he finally asked.

I quickly thought of a lie, "I guess I'm just a little nervous about this third stage." I hated lying to Eric, but if I didn't a little stomach virus would be blown out of proportion and I'd end of in the infirmary with a nurse assuring Eric that I was okay, even though he was still insisting on a stomach pump.

"Don't be. You'll do great."

"What if I become factionless?" I asked, starting to be engulfed in my own lie. I was now actually worried about stage three.

"Then I supposed we'll be factionless." He answered with a sly smile.

"We?" I asked, eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"We." He assured. "But, I tell you what, I have a thing in…" he checked the small clock on the wall. "Now. Crap. But when I get back from this thing, I'll make you feel better with stage three."

He was now frantically going about the room, finding files and kissing me hurriedly on the cheek.

"What thing?"

"A thing. Meet me at the chasm in… an hour-ish."

And with that, he was gone. "See you in an hour-ish," I called out at the closed door.

I loved the sound of the waves colliding with the gentle cliffs. It almost made up for the fact that Eric was 45 minutes late. I suppose he was using the –ish factor to his advantage.

I laid my head against the unreliable metal bars and closed my eyes, savoring the sound of the underground river that raged on below.

"Hey, Rose." A voice said, as my face was poked. "Get up. I'm here now. I'm so sorry. Max was meeting with Jeanine and I wasn't even allowed back there, but for some fucking stupid reason, I had to stay."

I laughed, instantly forgiving Eric because he sounded so hilarious when he was angry. To think, when he had snapped at me on my first day of Dauntless, I was terrified beyond belief. But now, I was lucky if I could keep a straight face.

I rose up, wiping off the nonexistent dirt from my black tights.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Surprise." He had answered, although it wasn't a very cleverly hidden surprise, for I knew the way to the Fear Landscape room okay-ish by now.

Upon entering, Eric began to type away on a large computer and pulled out this weird mechanism that featured numerous suction cups.

"I'm going into your fears with you. Please don't let one of your fears be something like spending your life with me or me finding out that you've been leading me on." He laughed.

I teased, "No promises."

He injected me with a serum that looked like a thick, orange liquid, after placing numerous suction cups on both of our foreheads.

I drifted into the simulation quicker than usual. We were washed up by the roaring waters, slamming into hard rocks over and over. I opened my eyes, straining to find Eric in the complete and utter darkness.

"Rose. Come here. Follow my voice." He commanded in the darkness.

I was suddenly swept off by another violent current. I could feel the dirty water of the chasm sting the new gashes that were forming from being slammed into the sharp rocks.

"I can-," I started to say before my mouth was filled with the putrid taste of the water.

"Lower your heartbeat. Stay calm. I'm coming." He called out, seeming to have absolutely no difficulty with the harsh waves.

I felt something brush across my arm and then a strong grip squeezing tightly on my wrist. I felt Eric's arms wrap around me, comforting me.

The hugest wave yet washed over us, sending us crashing into the sharp edges of the chasm, but Eric's arms stayed tightly around me.

"You have to lower your heartbeat," he shouted above the loud noise of the waves.

I closed my eyes and focused, as gushes of water separated Eric and I.

"Swim lower," he commanded, his tone strict. "Just trust me."

I did as I was told, remembering how Four had told me to "think Dauntless" and soon the next fear had arrived.

We were in Eric's apartment and another Eric sat on the bed.

"Whatever happens, remember that I'm right here." Eric assured.

As the Eric on my left spoke, the Eric on the bed's mouth moved in sync with the real Eric's. The Eric on the bed flashed me a devious smile and pointed a gun that I had no idea of where it came from at his chest, still smiling.

Before I could scream, the gun went off and fired a hole, straight through his chest. I began to wail, and laid my head on the dead Eric's chest.

"Shh." Eric called out from behind me. "I'm right here. It's not real. Lower your heartbeat."

It wasn't helping. I just couldn't look away from the bleeding Eric. So, I decided to close my eyes, so tight that it hurt and I counted down from one hundred in my head. I used to do this tactic whenever I was being tested on to calm myself down.

"Where are we?" Eric asked, as I reached eighty.

I looked around the room. White plain walls, a small metal bed with dirty blue blankets strewn aside.

"My… room." I answered, dumbfounded and horrified to be back in my prison. I began to weep silently.

"Rose," Eric began, but stopped short when the walls began to cave in on us, closing us in.

"No, no, no!" I shouted, trying to push the walls back, but ultimately failing.

"Rose, just stay calm." Eric said, but looked as if this fear was getting to him as well.

His arms wrapped around me, and I began to focus on his breathing, trying to calm my own. The room was closing in so tightly now, and we were pinned against the metal frame of the bed. "Get under the bed." Eric ordered. "Pin yourself in more."

Underneath my old, small bed, the room closed in and strained my breathing. The bed began to creak as it was being crushed by the white walls.

Wind blew against my tear-stained face, chilling it. I opened my eyes to see that we were no longer in my caved in room, but we were standing dangerously on the ledge of the Hancock Tower.

"Oh god, I know where this one is go-," Eric started to say before a huge gust of wind blew the both of us off the ledge, no harness or anything to protect us.

Eric and I both screamed as we fell from the sky at an unimaginable speed. I realized that on the actual Hancock Tower, it would have taken about half of the time that we were falling to reach our bitter ends on the ground. The simulation was going to make us keep falling until I was able to pass it.

I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to not concentrate on the heart-sinking feeling of falling, and imagined the first time that I had ever laid eyes on Eric. He stood on the ledge of the roof of Dauntless headquarters, so much confidence and intimidation in his posture. He could have easily given me a heart attack just by giving me the right look. The sunlight shone upon him, making the rings in his face shine, but not as bright as his eyes shone. The spring air blew his messy hair in every direction, as he stood there, berating me about asking too many questions. He looked so much like a demented angel, or a beautiful devil.

The harsh feeling of my heart sinking into my stomach eased up and I felt my feet plant gracefully on the ground. I opened my eyes to see Eric's apartment again, his living room to be exact.

"Godammit, I hate your fears so much," he grumbled, clutching his chest.

Another Eric stood in the kitchen, Jeanine standing proudly beside him in her trademarked blue high heels that probably cost more than my life.

She smiled as she splashed a yellowy liquid in my face. I sputtered, tasting the bitter taste of chemicals. Before I could properly respond, I felt my body burn and heard Jeanine's wicked laugh, paired with Eric's deep one. Flames danced over my body, filling the room with the putrid smell of melting skin. I opened my mouth to scream, but the throat began to dissolve, and no sound came out but the cracking of fire consuming my flesh.

I closed my eyes, ignoring the smells and sounds, and thought back to the first night that Eric had stayed with me at the chasm. I was so brave that night, and continued to challenge him. His expression showed that he was annoyed with me, but I may have been mistaken, but I believe I noticed a little something more in his eyes. He was enjoying himself, however slightly he was. All of his walls were up that night and he had no intention of breaking them down, especially for a puny Erudite transfer that didn't mean anything to him. But I knew at once how broken he seemed, and all I wanted to do was fix him, and to fix myself in the process.

The burning stopped. I opened my eyes to see the transfers' bathroom, all white, except for the puddle of blood in the center that I presumed was mine.

"Oh god, Rose. Not this again." Eric cried out.

"Thought you could get off that easily? That I would just go away?" Edwin's voiced laughed, sending chills down my spine. I only wanted to forget this voice, but I'm never that lucky.

I didn't turn around to face him, but I knew he was behind me by the expression of Eric's face, absolute horror.

I felt a weight on my body, forcing me to the ground, and turning me over to face him. He wore a sly grin and hungry eyes.

"I- I can't help you, Rose. You have to do this by yourself. Jus- just fight him off. Don't let him touch you." I could hear the sadness in his tone. He was trying his hardest to hold back tears, but his terror was winning.

I felt my shirt fly up. So, I kicked Edwin in the stomach and pulled it back down, but not before seeing that familiar silver flash of metal. I shrieked as it pierced the skin above my collarbone.

"Now, I trust we won't fight it so much?" Edwin sneered.

I knew that I would never be able to fight him off. Like Jeanine, I was just too afraid of him. It wasn't a matter of who is stronger. He haunted my nightmares, for God's sake.

So, I did what I had realized was best. I closed my eyes and pictured what Jackson had described to me, Eric rescuing me with a tear-streaked face. I imagined him kicking down the door and fighting off my captor, and then tending to me, his damsel in distress. I imagined him wrapping my naked, bloody body in a towel, gently taking care of me as if I were the most fragile thing in the world.

Soon, I felt Edwin's weight upon my body being lifted, his lecherous fingers no longer sliding across my milky white skin. I opened my eyes again to see my old room, no longer caved in.

To my horror, I heard the clicking of heels and the vengeful laugh of Jeanine.

"Someone tried to forgeeeeet!" she sang in a faux cheery voice.

I felt her dainty hands wrap around my throat, the fake nails digging in my skin. I didn't fight back, as always, just letting her do whatever she intended. She pushed me to the ground, and when my clothes were being lifted off of me, I knew what punishment awaited me.

I felt her carve the first 'R' into my chest, and felt the hot blood trickle down my stomach. Tears flowed harder than in any fear and I finally let out the scream that I had been mustering from the start.

I closed my eyes and thought of when Eric had pronounced his love for me. He was so heartbroken because he believed I didn't love him back and the room was filled with the sound of dishes being angrily shattered. I had laughed at his silly behavior and kissed him tenderly, a kiss that I had been longing for since the moment he kissed me for the first time as a joke. My whole body had felt like electricity, a sweet high that I never wanted to leave.

Even as I thought of this sweet memory, I could still feel the agonizing pain as Jeanine sliced my body, now carving a 'T' on my neck. It wasn't working this time.

I tried to think of the time Eric and I had made love, the sweet heated passion coursing through my veins. My mind was numbed with the unending amount of love and lust that spilled for Eric. We had finally broken down every wall, completing my mission that started that night at the chasm. HE was mine and I was his, a connection so simple yet so complex.

I still felt my body being torn apart by Jeanine. The fear had yet again taken me away from my thoughts. I opened my eyes now, to see my blood spreading across the room, dripping from my temples and every other body part possible. Jeanine had apparently ran out of places to carve, so she just carved over my skinned muscles. I looked to my side, to see Eric in the corner, weeping loudly, feeling so weak because he knows that if he tries to get Jeanine off of me, the simulation will never end. It's something I have to do. I focused on his mourning face, so contorted with the lines of grief. He was in hell right now, and only I could take him from this. I looked up at Jeanine, whom I had never lashed out to, never fought back. She was laughing wickedly at each incision. My heart beat wildly. I had never fought back, never even thought of it before, but this was the only way to help Eric. I slowly raised a blood covered hand, weak from loss of blood and jerked the knife out of her hand. She didn't even try to keep it, probably from the belief that I would never fight back. I plunged the knife into my sister's cold heart, feeling so relieved to finally have the upper hand, to finally stop feeling so small.

I awoke on the floor of the Fear Landscape Room. I looked at Eric, who was smiling, his face still covered in tears.

"You did it. You stood up to her." He said as he laid beside in the floor, kissing me tenderly.

"I couldn't have done it without you. Hell, there's nothing I can't do with you by my side."


	20. Chapter 19- Life Changing Moments

I had just went through my Fear Landscape with the rest of the initiates. A Dauntless-born was undergoing the test now, clawing away at an imaginary threat.

"You're struggling with this stage, aren't you Rose?" Four approached me, stating the obvious.

"Well, yeah. I mean," I began to say before the nausea overtook my stomach. I tore away from our conversation and ran out the double doors of the Fear Landscape Room, releasing my lunch in a trash bin outside the room.

"God, are you okay?" Four had followed me and was moving my hair away from face.

"I've been having a stomach ache lately." I replied.

"Like all the time, or just randomly?" he asked with a worried expression.

I thought back over the past week. "I don't know. I guess I just feel like throwing up every now and then."

His expression grew stolid. "Rose, when was the last time you and Eric…you know?"

My eyes widened and my heart sank lower than it had during the falling simulation. Please God, tell me he doesn't think what I know he's thinking.

"Four, you're not implying that-"

"Just stating the possibilities." He interrupted.

"It's not possible. Don't worry." I assured.

"And how is it not possible?"

"I don't know." I mumbled. "Because it's not."

"As your trainer, it's my duty to make sure that you at least check this out," he stated. "And as your friend, it's my duty to make sure that I help you check this out."

"Four, just forget about this. I've been sick before. That's all this is." I pleaded.

He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Eric's at Amity right?" he asked.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Go back to your apartment. I'll be there in a little bit. Okay?"

I sat on the couch, shaking. I kept staring at my stomach.

_There's nothing in there. _I thought. _Stop scaring yourself._

A soft knocked pecked at the door. I quickly rose from the couch and frantically sprinted to the door, pulling it open to reveal Four. He held a brown paper bag in his hands, and he looked just as worried as I was.

He closed the door behind him and pulled a white box from the bag.

"Take this into the bathroom and follow the instructions." He said, looking away.

"What- what is this?" I said, holding the white box up high.

"It's a…um, pregnancy test. It's new from Erudite. It's said to be able to detect…'it' in as little as a week after…um, conceiving." He said, looking more awkward than ever.

My heart sank even lower as I slowly made my way into the bathroom. I pulled the contents from the box, an electronic stick-like object and a piece of paper with instructions.

**Thank you for purchasing the Love at First Test, Pregnancy Test!**

"**the first ever test that can detect pregnancy in one week!"**

I followed the instructions, feeling extremely weird that Four was just in the other room.

I opened the door and stepped out, seeing Four on the couch, looking around at the room.

"It takes ten minutes." I answered, sitting beside him.

I started to think of Eric. _What would he think if I was carrying his child? Oh god, he wouldn't stay._

I started to cry, loud, ugly tears. "What will Eric think?" I sobbed.

"God, Rose." Four said, putting an arm around me, allowing me to cry on his shoulder. "He loves you, pregnant or not."

I continued to cry until Four informed me that ten minutes have passed. Slowly, we both creeped into the bathroom. I was now shaking, being terrified of what lay on my bathroom sink.

I picked up the small, white stick with my eyes closed.

"Just read it, Rose." Four said, laying a hand on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes to see the little pink plus sign, clear as day on the little stick. It was positive. I was positively pregnant.

I fell to my knees, weeping and handed the test to a awestruck Four, who gasped at the sight of the test. Before he could say his usual assortment of comforting words, such as "It's going to be okay" or "Don't worry", I heard the click of a set of key opening the locked door.

"Oh god, Eric's home early." I whispered, frantically hiding the test under a pile of used towels.

"Rose? Are you home?" he said, stepping into the bathroom. His expression stiffened at the sight of Four. "What the fuck is going on here? You're cheating on me!" he screamed to the top of his lungs.

"No, Eric! It's not what it looks like!" I said, jumping up from the floor, and trying to wrap my arms around his neck, which he pushed away.

"It's exactly what it looks like! You're cheating with him! And in my own apartment!" he screamed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Eric, I'm not," Four began, but Eric stopped him short by punching him in the face.

"Eric!" I screamed. "Four, get out of here. I'm sorry about this."

Four rose from the floor and left, holding his cheek.

"What's going on?" Eric asked, now breaking down.

"Eric, goddammit, I'm not cheating on you! I- I have something to tell you." I began to sob, sitting on the toilet seat. Eric sat on his knees, our faces now level.

"Rose, why are you crying? Why was he here? What's happening?" he pleaded.

I laid my head on his shoulder, trying to get the words out, but they were being replaced by sobs. I breathed in the smell of his cologne, trying to savor the feel of Eric. This might be the last chance I get to. He'll never stay with me.

"Rose, please." He pleaded, raising my face to look at his by my chin. "What's wrong?"

"He was here to help me. He bought me something." I began, stuttering and sobbing.

"What? What did he buy you?"

I knew I'd never be able to say the words that would end Eric's love for me. So, I decided to show him. I reached my shaking arm underneath the pile of dirty clothes and gripped tightly on the little stick at the bottom. I pulled it out and handed it to Eric, who looked so confused.

I looked up to see him look over the test. He looked so zoned out, so gone from this world.

"You- you're pregnant." He didn't ask, but stated.

I nodded, crying even harder because of his response.

"I'm a father." He laughed, smiling like a child in a candy store.

He didn't stop laughing, but kissed me. During this kiss, I could feel his smile against my lips.

"Why are you crying, Rose? This is the best day of _my _life! I'm a father!" He picked me up and held me bridal style. "And you're a mother! We're a family, Rose! Aren't you happy?"

"I- I thought you would leave me." I laughed, now wiping away my tears.

"Leave you? Are you insane?" he laughed.

He kissed my stomach. "Can you believe it? In nine months, we're going to have our own little Dauntless!"

I kissed him tenderly. "Or a Candor. Or an Abnegation. Or an Amity. Or even an Erudite. We'll love it no matter what it chooses. Right?"

"Right." He laughed.

"Rose?"

"Yes, father of my child?" I laughed, loving being able to say that.

"I was going to save this until after initiation, but since, we're making life changing moments right now, umm… you know I love you more than anything in this world right?" he said, placing me back on my feet.

"Yeah?" I answered, feeling nervous.

He pulled something out of his jacket pocket, a small black box. "Rose Mary Matthews," he said, getting down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

He opened the box to reveal a beautiful red jewel. "Of course." I answered, pulling his face up to mine to kiss him passionately.

He slid the red jewel onto my ring finger, where it fit snuggly. "It was my grandmother's. I don't know if I've ever told you about her. She was the only one who gave a damn about me, before you that is. She died when I was a kid, and she gave me this to give when I found the one I want to be with for the rest of my life."

I began to cry, but not the sad tears that had spilled from my eyes so many times before. I cried tears of passion, joy; tears that spilled because of my overwhelming happiness to have my soon-to-be husband and my son or daughter in my life now.


	21. Chapter 20- Jack Of All Trades

Today was the day. This one day, this one test will decide the entire path of my life, factionless or Dauntless. This decides my occupation, my role and my reputation at Dauntless, if I even get to stay.

Today was the last day of my training, and in an hour, I will undergo the final test. A week had gone by since my life-changing moment on the floor of our bathroom, and during this week, I've trained day and night, constantly trying to work up the courage to stab Jeanine during my last fear. However, I now had nine fears, adding on the death of my child and Eric leaving me as a single mother. God, I loved to call myself a mother.

Eric immediately went into father mode, not letting me lift hardly anything, protesting my want to practice the Fear Landscape and even going to Amity to stock our refrigerator with the healthiest of foods to ensure our child's good nutrition. Although I'm happy that he cares so much, I still miss my greasy platters of bacon and eggs breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The spare bedroom had been cleaned out, for I had no idea that it was even a bedroom, Eric had stacked it to the ceiling with so much junk. At a slow pace, we had started the beginning of what would be our child's nursery. Eric wanted the walls to be black like the traditional Dauntless nursery, but I insisted on light blue, regardless of the gender, so I could paint nice little clouds on the walls.

"Are you nervous?" Eric asked, as we walked side by side to the Fear Landscape Room, a large glass room. We still couldn't even hold hands or show any signs of love until my initiation was over.

"Just a lot," I said sarcastically.

Like every time we entered a room, Eric would enter first, making his way over to the other leaders (which would be all of them today to witness that final test) and I would count to ten and then enter as well. Eric was worried that they would see the fear of him leaving me or our baby being harmed, but by then, I would be an official Dauntless and actually allowed to be with him so there would be nothing they could do. Besides, I remember being slightly conscious and hearing Max tell Eric that he knew.

When I entered after counting to ten, the large room was absolutely packed. It seemed as though all of Dauntless had arrived for this moment.

Max began to call out each initiate in backward alphabetical order, beginning with Kait, whose time was 25:04 with 14 fears. I quietly congratulated her.

"Matthews, Rose." Max's deep voice bellowed. I entered the small glass room, where Eric wished me luck and plunged the needle into my neck, releasing the orange liquid.

I was drowning in the chasm, pinned on the rock that I had been impaled upon, which didn't allow me to move. I thought of Eric sitting with me at the chasm.

Eric sat on the bed, a gun ready for fire was gripped tightly in his hand.

"I can't stand you." He said through gritted teeth. _Boom. _The gun shot a hole through his chest. I thought of when he first told me his story, so vulnerable and broken.

I was in my old Erudite bedroom, the walls caving in, trapping me in my Rat Trap. I thought of our first kiss, wrapped up in his leather jacket after sleeping soundly in his bed.

The wind blew hard. The Hancock Tower was far behind me as I fell farther and farther away. I thought of when Eric and I had fought in the training room, and laughed our hearts out after my vicious head-butt. He had kissed me in front of all the initiates that day.

Eric and Jeanine smiled wickedly at me. I felt the liquid splash my face and the fire rage upon me, burning me alive. I thought of Eric taking care of me, carrying me after I had fallen off of the chasm and kissing the scars on my back so tenderly.

"This baby is your problem, not mine. It's your fault for laying on your back." Eric spat at me, as he tore at the crib in the spare bedroom. "Get out of _my _apartment." I thought of how jealous he had been when he thought I was with Zeke and how regardless, he hugged me so tightly, saying "Don't ever scare me like that again," after I had fallen off the Hancock Tower.

I lay on Eric's bed, blood covered sheets over my cut open stomach. Max held my dead baby in his hands. He had cut my child out of my stomach. I thought of when Eric had admitted his love for me, how passionately he had kissed me. I thought of how he wanted to prove to me that his love was real and that he wouldn't take advantage of me.

The floor of the bathroom was covered with blood. Edwin pinned me to the ground, having his way with me. I thought of Eric and I giving ourselves to one another in a moment of pure passion and love. I thought of how gentle he was, afraid to hurt me.

Jeanine stood over me, slicing away at my flesh, rendering me helpless. She carved the letters over and over, taking her time. I thought of when I told Eric that he was going to be a father, how happy he was to finally have a happy family, a family that included me as his loving wife. He couldn't wait for our child. I knew at that moment that he would make the best husband and an even better father.

"Rose Matthews, 7 minutes and 24 seconds." Max shouted in disbelief.

"I believe that's a record!" another leader shouted.

"And she did it all while pregnant with a leader's child." Max stated in annoyance, sending gasps through the crowd of Dauntless who had not been watching as the leaders had.

I felt an arm snake around my waist, Eric's. "Well, she's an official Dauntless now, so what can you do?" He teased.

Jackson approached me, looking excited. "How did you go through it that quick?"

"I guess I just went to my happy place." I smiled, looking over at the father of my child.

We were led to the cafeteria, where a large screen revealed our names and pictures.

My name and a picture of a smiling red head appeared beside a number 2. Jackson was first, and I'll be damned if he didn't deserve it.

"Hey look, we both were 2nd ," Eric smiled, his hand finally in mine.

Later, we went into a room that faced two large desks, where every leader squeezed in together behind them.

"You will now choose your jobs and your housing. Look over the sheets that you were given and we will call you up by rank to choose." One of the leaders announced.

Jackson of course went first and accepted the leadership choice in a heartbeat.

"Rose?" Eric called.

I approached the desks. "Don't worry about the housing, she will be living with me," Eric said, not looking up from his files.


	22. Chapter 21- Meeting Halfway

Eric, being the suck-up he is, insisted that we _personally _deliver our wedding invitations to the faction leaders. We had printed about fifty copies, which was completely done by Shauna and the Dauntless leader with the shaved head and red lips, Janice.

It was a black card with printed red lace around it and our names and the date in red as well. I obviously had nothing to do with them because, if left in my hands, it would have ducks or something.

We had pulled up to Candor headquarters in the sleek black car, provided by Max after Eric had demanded to not allow me to jump trains anymore to keep our baby safe. It looked exactly how I would have pictured a courthouse from my old novels from before the war. Eric and I could have blended in with the sea of black and white in our all-black apparel if it weren't for my crimson hair and Eric's shiny, pierced face.

Jack Kang and his wife, Darla, were waiting for us in the lobby, smiling and opening his arms in a welcoming manner.

"Welcome to my castle," he laughed.

I tuned out of their conversation, looking around in awe at the grand walls covered in tapers of black and white marked with the Candor logo.

"We heard about your little blessing," Darla smiled sweetly. The mention of my baby snapping me back. "Do you want it to be a girl or boy?"

Eric wrapped his arms around me from behind me, placing his hands lovingly on my stomach.

"As long as it's healthy, it doesn't matter to me." I smiled back.

"But, hopefully a girl," Eric laughed. "And she'll be her daddy's little princess."

I thought back to before we had played Capture the Flag and Eric had yelled at me, calling me a princess.

He wanted our child to be a girl, so he could spoil her with every accessory or basically anything her little heart desired. Last night, as we lay in bed, he began to day dream about walking her down the aisle at her wedding, smiling and laughing out loud from happiness.

"So, what occupation did you choose, Rose?" Jack asked me.

"A nurse, an aptitude test administer, and the trainer of the initiates." I announced, proud.

"Quite a few jobs. Will you have time for your baby?" Darla said in awe.

Before I could answer, a tap came on my shoulder, causing Eric and I to turn around.

"Sorry to interrupt, but did you say you train Dauntless initiates?" A man with greying brown hair and a mustache asked.

"I will be next year. Why?" I answered.

"This is Micheal Hayes, my right hand man." Jack interrupted.

"My son, I know that he's going to transfer to Dauntless. I see it in him more and more every day. He's so reckless and… violent. He chooses next year, and I'm worried for him because, no offence, but I've heard rumors of how rigorous initiation is. And my son, you see, he likes to be on top of _everything _and I'm a little afraid that he'll make the wrong enemies there and end up getting hurt. I probably shouldn't be saying such bad things about my own boy, but I'm scared, lady. Can I trust you to look after him and just mentor him and lead him to the right path?" the man said, shifting nervously from side to side.

"Of course. What's your son's name so I'll know him when I see him?" I answered, smiling at the tall man.

"His name is Peter. Peter Hayes."

We were in the car, just returning from delivering an invitation to Andrew Prior and his sweet wife, Natalie when I looked over at Eric, approaching Erudite.

"Stop the car!" I shouted, causing the driver to slam on the brake. I placed a shielding hand over my stomach to comfort the jolt.

"What the hell, Rose?" Eric said.

"Eric, I know you're upset. Don't act like you're not." I said, as Eric's expression grew solemn. "I know you're thinking about your mother. You want her there, don't you?"

"It's doesn't matter," he said, shifting in his seat and grabbing my hands in his. "She won't show up."

"You'll never know unless you at least try."

And that's how we set out through the streets of Erudite, with Eric telling the driver instructions down the complicated roads.

"Slow down." Eric said, as we approached the houses. "See that house over there? The one with that huge ass tree? That's where I grew up."

Slowly, we drove by the house. I pinned my face to the window to see a light blue house, with a small white porch with the paint chipping off.

I smiled, thinking of a toddler Eric waddling down those steps.

"This was the street I lived on too." I smiled, pointing out my house as we drove slowly by.

Eric chuckle deeply, "We've probably met before and thought nothing of it."

I laughed in return and laid my head on his shoulder.

We approached one of Erudite's many laboratories and Eric led me up to the top floor. A lady at a reception desk typed away at a computer, her long blue nails clicking away.

"My name is Eric Kallian. I'm here to see my mother, Elise."

"On what grounds, sir?"

"I wanted to invite her to my wedding and inform her of her grandchild."

The lady sat up and began to lead us down a long hallway.

"Funny," she said, eyeing Eric through her probably fake glasses. "Who would've thought Elise had a son?"

She stopped at a door, labeled **Elise Kallian, Chemical Department. **Eric didn't bother to knock, but swung the door open to reveal a lady in a blue lab jacket with almost fully grey hair. She didn't even look up from her work.

"Mother?" Eric called out.

She turned around, alarmed and peering through thick glasses. "Eric? What are you doing here? Who's this?"

"This is my fiancé, Rose. We wanted to invite you to our wedding." He said meekly.

"Wedding? Since when are you getting married?" She didn't even get up and hug her son whom she probably hadn't seen since he left Erudite.

"We're having a baby, mother."

"Heh," she laughed. "So, you got her knocked up and now you have to marry her? Just like your father."

I couldn't take it anymore. "Okay listen here, bitch. Not only have you neglected your _only _son his entire life, but you can't even give a damn about him to say 'congratulations on having a family that will finally give a shit about you'? You're more of a mother to those damned chemicals than you are to him. I don't even know why I insisted on coming here. Eric is an amazing, caring man who shouldn't have to waste his time with you!" I spat at her, pulling Eric with me out the door.

As soon as we exited the room, he pushed his lips against mine, kissing me deeply. "Thank you," he whispered with his forehead still against mine. He pulled away and wiped a stray tear from my cheek. I hadn't even realized that I was crying.

We began to leave the building, but I heard a familiar "Rose?" call out from behind me.

I spun around and saw the blonde, high heeled Jeanine in her pressed suit dress. But now, I no longer looked at her with fear. I had faced her and defeated her so many times now in my simulations.

"I- I heard about your baby." She stuttered.

"Yeah, what about it?" Eric snapped.

"I- I can give you an ultrasound. It's 4-D. Free of charge of course," she said really fast, showing me that she was nervous. "You s-see you baby and even tell the gender."

"We don't want your," Eric started to say, but stopped when I elbowed him.

"We'd love to take you up on your offer." I smiled, just wanting to see my baby whatever the cost.

"Great! Follow me."

The ultrasound room was a little cramped up room filled with computers and machines with a large screen on the wall. Eric said beside me, tensed up, reading for hand to hand combat if necessary. He glared Jeanine like an overprotective mother hen.

Jeanine smeared a clear paste on my stomach and began to move a wand-thingy over me, making the screen on the wall light up with unclear images.

"Just a second," she said, moving the wand around. "And there we are! Your beautiful baby…girl."

My baby was on the screen, moving around like crazy. I felt her kick for the first time and I watched as she did it. She was the exact definition of beautiful, no she was more than beautiful. I couldn't think of words worthy enough to describe my beautiful daughter. I began to cry, harder than I've ever cried.

I looked over to see a sobbing Eric, smiling like a once-blind man who was witnessing a sunset for the first time.

"What's her name?" Jeanine asked.

"Anastasia," I said, loving to hear the name Eric and I had spent weeks picking out. "Anastasia Elise Kallian."

Eric wanted her to have his mother's name, so he could at least have some part of his mother with him, because he swore that before his father's death, he once had a loving mother. And he was naming our daughter after that mother, not the Elise that had ignored us in the laboratory.

We began to leave the ultrasound room, but I quickly turned around and went back in the room.

"Jeanine, wait!" I said, gripping the invitation that was meant for Eric's mother tightly in my hand.

She looked utterly shocked to see me come back.

"Here," I said, handing it to her.

I had never seen my sister so awestruck and dumbfounded before. I left at once, leaving her in her surprise.

"Why the hell did you invite her?" Eric said, as we walked hand in hand back to the car.

"The same reason you're naming our daughter after your mother. Because forgiveness is easier than hatred. We can fight so hard to keep a grudge on those who have hurt us, but yet we still think of them when we're lying in bed at night. We want a happy ending, Eric, and we want a family." I touched a hand to my stomach. "I want our daughter to have a happy aunt and a loving grandmother. Sometimes you just have to meet people halfway and see if they meet you as well."


	23. Chapter 22- The Past In The Past

Three weeks as an official Dauntless member have passed, being the busiest three weeks of my life. Through all the wedding preparations and the renovation of Anastasia's nursery, work has become my safe have away from all the chaos of my life. I'm hilarious, right? The infirmary at Dauntless is even busier than the tattoo parlor and that is really saying something.

However, all the havoc and panic of planning has finally paid off because today was finally today. Today, I was no longer Rose Matthews, a name I've despised my entire life, but I would become Mrs. Rose Mary Kallian, wife of Dauntless Leader (and father of Anastasia Kallian) Eric Kallian.

A week before I had went with Shauna, my maid of honor, to pick out my wedding dress. We had gone to Candor to pick it out, because I didn't want the traditional black dress. Eric and I loved to read, especially books from before the war. Those books were where we had gone to escape the harsh reality of our childhoods. It was one of the things that had drawn us together. So, as every bride in these books had, I wanted a white wedding dress. However, the dress that I had picked out had one major flaw. The back was cut out, showing the scars of my childhood that filled my back, and were now outlined because of Edwin.

But I had an idea. So, here I lay now, on my stomach in the tattoo parlor. Tori's machine was humming away as the needle protruded into my back over and over. I wanted to do this now, so at my wedding, I could make a statement. Angel wings would soon cover my back, covering the scars of my past. Eric had once told me to wear these scars like a badge of honor, but now I can't help but disagree. My life as Rat had scarred me, and haunted my dreams. It was all I could think about and I couldn't help but thinking that every time someone would look at me that they were seeing through my shirt and gazing at my scars, judging me. The only way to stop this is to move on and to leave my past in the past. Yes, some things hurt so badly that you think nothing in this world can ever fix this, but you have to want to fix it. You'll never be able to forget what hurt you, but staying strong and never dwelling is to only way for things to get better. I'm not trying to cover my past up, forgetting about it in the process. I'm proving to myself that I am strong because I've overcame so much, but now it's time to look toward the future, my bright, happy future with my smiling husband and daughter.

But after she finished the tattoo, I wasn't quite done yet. Not only have I rid myself of the burdens of my past, but now it was time for the bright future part. On my left wrist, **Anastasia **was written in a fancy script and on my right, **Eric. **

I thanked Tori and made my way to Shauna's apartment, where I would be getting ready for my wedding. She lived near the chasm, where our wedding would be taking place.

As I opened the door, I heard a shrill "Where have you been? Your wedding is in a damn hour and you're not even ready yet!"

"I was getting a tattoo." I told Shauna. "Well, three."

"You got three tattoos an hour before your wedding?! Do you realize how red you're going to be?" She screamed.

"It's worth it, trust me."

My hair had been curled perfectly, if you ask me. My makeup just the same, perfect. The dress hug my form, making me seem more elegant than I had ever dreamed. Tears started to prick in the corner of my eyes.

"Aw, honey." Shauna said, wrapping her arms around me. "You can cry after everyone has seen how radiant you are. Until then, don't mess up your makeup or I will kill you."

I laughed, but stopped short when a knock came at the door.

"Please tell me you're ready. Eric is having a hissy fit because he can't see you and I'm not sure how much more I can handle." Four called from the other side of the door. Four was the best man, my choice, not that Eric had anyone better to be his best man.

I laughed loudly. "I'm ready!"

Eric wasn't allowed to see me before the wedding and he wasn't taking it too well. I had no problem with him seeing me, but Shauna would have had a heart attack.

"We're starting." He said, coming back five minutes later.

I started to become very nervous. "What if I fall? What if my dress falls off? What if Eric changes his mind? What if-"

"Eric will love you no matter what happens and he's not going to change his mind. We can still postpone this wedding, but if we wait too long, your dress won't fit anymore, pregnant woman."

I laughed, trying to shake off my nerves but failing. Some type of cloth had been strewn over the cafeteria's archway, shielding me from the chasm and giving me some type of an entrance. I could hear the roar of a chattering crowd and my heart sank.

Eric was already standing out there with Zeke, who was conducting the ceremony. Who knew that he was a certified minister? Shauna and Four linked arms and parted the curtain and stepped out.

I counted to ten, and then while shaking, the curtains were parted for me and I stepped out and then slowly walked out, bouquet in hand. I looked around me at the large crowd. Every person we invited had arrived, anxious for a Dauntless wedding, which was very rare. Even Jeanine and Elise Kallian sat in the crowd. I wondered how she had known where to go without the invitation. Even people who weren't invited filled the seat, and I was thankful that Max had suggested adding more chairs just in case.

I looked up and locked eyes with Eric, who stood at the chasm in a black tuxedo with a wide grin across his face, looking as handsome as ever. I heard a few gasps from behind me as eyes gazed at my new tattoo. But, I could not have cared less. All I wanted to stare at was my soon-to-be husband, tears forming at both of our eyes.

I stopped beside and he took my hands, whispering so quietly that only I could hear, "You look beautiful enough to be my wife." I laughed to myself at the remembrance of when we had pretended to be engaged and he had told me that I look good enough to be his fiancé.

Eric had opted out of the entire speech of religion, saying that he wanted to be declared husband and wife as soon as possible. Zeke complied and began to recite the basics.

"Do you, Eric Kallian, take this woman to be your wedded wife, under Dauntless? To have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"And then on." He said, smiling so wide, I was sure his face would crack.

"And do you, Rose Matthews, take this man to be your wedded husband, under Dauntless? To have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live and then on?"

"You bet I do."

"I now pronounce you man and wife." He looked at Eric, and I noticed that Zeke was crying as well as Eric and myself. "You may now kiss the bride."

Eric grabbed my cheek and pushed his lips sweetly against mine. I smiled into the kiss. The crowd clapped happily, making me blush.

Nothing in this world could ever go wrong now.

We then went on to the reception, which was in the cafeteria. An enormous stack of Dauntless cake was in the center of the room and the crowd flocked around it, trying to get a piece. I laughed to myself, Eric's arms around my waist.

Eric had hired a pianist to play, and he began to play a soft melody. "The bride and groom's first dance." Someone called out.

Eric began to push me to the dance floor. "Oh god. Eric, I've never danced before."

Eric laughed softly. "Just relax and trust me."

He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and placed my hands on his shoulders. He began to lead me into complicated steps and twirls, but moving slowly so I could at least kind of keep up. It turned out to be a beautiful moment of our bodies moving in sync, our first act as husband and wife. Halfway into the dance, I began to cry really hard. Eric had taken a hand off my waist and gently wiped my tears away and kissing my cheek where they had laid.

"What's this?" he said, when he grabbed my hand during the dance, looking at my tattoo.

"Proof that life really does get better."


	24. Chapter 23- The Point Of View Of Eric

These seven months had been the absolute best months of my life. I had no mother, no father, no friends, no life, no…anything. And now here I was, the leader of my dream faction, the most beautiful, loving woman on my arm, and my precious daughter on the way.

By "on the way", I meant she was coming. _NOW. _

Rose and I were having a wondrous evening. We had just left the tattoo parlor where I copied Rose's tattoo and had both my ladies' names on my wrists. Rose was smiling that beautiful smile, her big blue eyes shone like magnificent stars. Hell, stars couldn't even compare to the depth of her beauty.

But, alas, her laughter was cut short, the floor was soaked, and my beautiful wife was screaming. Let me establish how bad this is. _These SEVEN MONTHS had been the absolute best months of my life. _Anastasia was arriving too early.

Immediately, my 'Daddy instincts' (as Rose called them) kicked in and I swept her into my arms and ran to the infirmary in thirty seconds flat. I had collected a hoard of Rose's friends on the way, who had noticed my rush and Rose's terror and tagged alongside me, although they struggled to keep up.

As soon as we reached the infirmary, Rose's co-workers ran to get whatever medical do-dads that were needed. I gently laid her on the seemingly uncomfortable bed, smiling at her.

She was crying. I pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Hey now, don't worry. Ana's coming and everything's going to be just fine and in a few hours, we'll be a regular boring family."

She shook with silent laughter, making tears shake off of her. "It's t-too early." She stuttered.

"That just means we don't have to wait as long." I said, kissing her forehead.

After about an hour, she began pushing. She was crying so hard, but I couldn't help laughing with excitement. I had always been alone, and now I was blessed with two beautiful girls for all of eternity.

"Keep going, love." I encouraged, as she tightly gripped my hand. I couldn't even feel the pain of her grip because butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Actually, it was more like soaring eagles.

My expression softened when I glanced up to see the faces of the multiple nurses who stood at the edge of Rose's bed. They were scared.

"W-what's happening?" I asked, as Rose let out an unnatural wail.

They ignored me. "She's hemorrhaging!" A woman shouted. "Her heartbeat is slow!" Said another.

"Rose?" I said quietly, getting on my knees beside her bed. "Rose, look at me. Please." I pleaded.

Slowly, she turned her head to face me. "Eric." She breathed.

"She's crowning." One said, a solemn expression.

Tears gushed down my face, harder than I could remember. My wife was almost unconscious and my daughter was coming too early.

After a while, a nurse came to me, tapping on my shoulder to rouse me because my face was hidden in my hands. "I'm sorry." She said. "She was just too early."

"My- my baby girl." I screamed now. "Where's my daughter?!"

"Sir," the nurse said, looking frightened, although I couldn't care less. "She's gone."

"Where is she? I want my baby girl." I pleaded, sounding muffled under all my tears.

The nurse hesitated but then placed the baby bundled in a white cloth in my arms. She had dark hair, like her Daddy, but the elegant, almost mystical face of her Mommy. She didn't even stir when I placed my lips on her forehead.

"Wake up, Ana." I pleaded. "Daddy loves you."

"I'm so sorry." Another nurse said. "It's Rose."

I looked up. "She doesn't have much time left." She said.

I moved to see my wife, still beautiful underneath all that sweat and tears. She reached for lifeless Ana, and I reluctantly placed her in her arms. She rocked her like the wonderful mother she would have been.

"I'm dying, Eric." She said through tears.

"No." I said, falling over my words. "You can't. I love you. We were supposed to be happy. It's what always happened in our books. Two kids with a bad life fall in love and live happily ever after, right? This is our love story, Rose!" I shouted.

She placed a weak hand on my cheek. "You were my greatest adventure." And with that, her eyes started to seem heavy and she drifted into an eternal slumber.

"No!" I screamed. "Rose, wake up! Ana!"

I felt a hand grasp my arm. Four stood behind me with a tear-streaked face. "They're gone, Eric." He cried.

"They're not gone! I screamed, throwing pieces of equipment. "They're all I've ever had. They can't leave."

I fell to my knees, sobbing loudly. Four placed an unhelping hand on my back.

I stood in our apartment, gazing into the mirror. _You couldn't even keep your wife, _I told myself.

I didn't wear a shirt and I stared at my chest. As tears poured down my face, I brought the silver gun to my heart, just as I had in Rose's fear. I suppose both our fears came true.

I had left a note, although I'm not sure who it was for. I had loved no one and no one loved me, save for Rose and Anastasia. No one would miss me, unlike the hoard of mourners that filled my apartment with flowers. They didn't love Rose like I did, so why were they acting so? I guess I was leaving it for Rose, who I hoped would forgive me for this. I had promised that I wouldn't do this, but I hadn't realized how deep I would fall for those blue eyes or how deep the hole in my heart would be without her.

Time to deepen the hole in my heart.

"I love you, Rose." I said, and I pulled the trigger, ready to join my family.


	25. Epilogue

The afterlife is strange, though pretty much how I had expected. I suppose it was strange to me because I had always envisioned myself being an older lady with grey hair and wrinkly skin, gladly going into the light after such a long life. I had also thought that I would be leaving behind children, grandchildren even, but my only child stayed with me, her spirit softly cooing in my arms. It's ironic, you know. I've fallen from pretty much every dangerous height in the city. I've almost been murdered more times than I can count. I've had knives thrown at my face by my husband. I've been though pretty much everything that I could possibly go through. But in the end, it was my sweet daughter that took my life.

We both avoided the light, and watched our loved ones live and even some walked past us as they moved on, anxiously approaching the light.

Four had fallen in love with an Abnegation transfer, just like himself. She reminded me of myself a lot, brave even when no one believed you would be. I loved to watch their forbidden love story, reminding myself of what Eric and I had once shared. Eric knew their secret but kept to himself. Once, however, he jokingly teased Four, "I see you're following in my footsteps." But this only reminded him of my time on earth, and he closed his mouth and his head hung down low.

So many things had changed, but stayed the same. I laughed in irony when Max chose to leave the bathroom door of the transfers' dorms broken and they were left with no privacy on my account. Zeke and Shauna had become official, and he loved her even when she lost her legs. I even watched Jeanine sometimes. She never cried over my death, but for pity, too a few days off from work to 'mourn'. I suppose some people just refuse to change no matter how hard you try.

The majority of my time, however, was spent watching Eric. He had tried to take his life, missing his heart by a mere centimeter. I remember screaming at him from the other side to stop as Anastasia cried, but of course he couldn't hear us. He spent the next few weeks weeping in an infirmary bed, where he had been stitched back together.

Before he knew it, it was time for the Choosing Ceremony again and he was left no more time to mourn. In his mind, he was left with no more choices. He had to harden himself, lock up his feelings. He cried no more, but inevitably became empty inside. He tattooed a red rose over the wound on his heart, to remind himself of our promise. He promised to play the villain so many months ago and that is exactly what he did. It started out simple. He was tough during my initiation, but it was just to better my fellow initiates and I.

Now, he was cruel and unloving. Four wanted to reach out to him, but the idea stayed only a thought and nothing became of it. People, not just initiates and Dauntless members, were afraid of him. Everywhere he went, he struck fear in those who passed him. Our old friends, such as the Kangs or the Priors, shook their heads at the thought of him. "What a shame," they would say. "Brought to madness by the death of his wife."

And it was true, what a shame. He resorted to horrible ways of punishments for those who crossed his path. He dangled a Candor girl from the edge of a chasm for giving up on a fight, something that I've even done before. But, while she screamed from the edge, he didn't pay attention because he was too busy staring at the corner of the wall where I used to lay my head during our frequent midnight chats. He even had Four throw knives at the girl Four loved. Eric wouldn't throw them though. He hated the thought after he had thrown them at me during a tantrum. He didn't want to this this. Hell, he didn't even want to leave the bed that we used to share. But he was going to get himself killed even if it meant being damned in the process.

But, his plan never worked. All this brought on was more and more hatred and fear. That is, until he was he called into Max's office. Max noticed how cruel Eric had become and wanted to play upon it. He let Eric into Jeanine's plan and after hesitating, Eric agreed.

They were going to storm Abnegation with an army of mind-controlled Dauntless and destroy Abnegation. Jeanine said that they hid Divergents and needed to pay, but I knew she just wanted them out of the way so she could rule the city.

He hated the idea of teaming with my sister, but it was his only shot at keeping our promise. That night, he wept in the floor of Anastasia's nursery. He held what would have been her toys in his hands and stroked the messy clouds on the wall that I painted. "I'm sorry," he cried to the clouds as if he were speaking to me.

He became Jeanine's lapdog and obeyed his every order like a zombie. He didn't allow himself to show emotion in front of people, but let them out every night in Ana's nursery, which he preserved all these months.

And now, he stood on his knees at Candor, smiling on the inside of what was yet to come. He insulted Four and Tris, internally begging them to take his life. Only Four knew what he was really doing.

Before this happened, he had visited Eric who laid in the floor of his Candor cell after being "captured".

"I know why you did all this. No one could have captured you that easily. You have a death wish, don't you?"

"The only wish I have is for the destruction of everything I hate, which is everything." Eric lied through his teeth.

Four shook his head, and then laid it against the bars of the cell. "How do you think life would be different if Rose was still alive?" He asked, after a short pause.

Eric sighed. "She would have blinked those big blue eyes at anyone who wanted to hurt her and melted their hearts, so there would have never been a war. I'd be a regular boring father and you… you'd probably be my best friend." Eric spoke to Four for the first time as if he were an old friend and not his constant rival.

"I guess you're right." Four laughed.

And now, Four stood over him, the weapon of Eric's demise glistening in his hand. He fired, but felt no remorse, for in his mind, he wasn't ridding the world of a bad person, but he was doing a favor for an old friend.

"Rose." Eric whispered, right before the light left his eyes. _He saw me._

His spirit formed behind the fallen body of my husband. His eyes locked on Anastasia and I and he ran to us. "Rose!" he bellowed.

I ran into my arms, kissing my husband passionately as if it were for the very first time. Tears of joy flowed down his eyes as he held Anastasia, who giggled and cooed, excited to finally meet her Daddy, the man whose voice she craved for all these years.

"But, I don't understand." Eric said. "I've killed people… children even. I should have been swallowed up in a pit of fire by now, but here I am… in Heaven."

I smiled in his embrace, "Actions may speak louder than words, but intentions speak even louder than that."

"I guess you're right." He smiled.

In one hand, he held our daughter and in the other, our fingers intertwined. Together, we walked toward the light that I had hidden from for so long and we departed into the afterlife… as a family.


	26. Alternate Ending

An Alternate Ending as told by Four

The new initiates piled in, one by one, talking, laughing, as if nothing had gone wrong. Well, of course nothing had gone wrong. Not to _them. _Their best friend hadn't just died in child birth.

But, I'm a man. A Dauntless man at that. I'm not supposed to be emotional, not in public. Eric apparently has decided not to heed to the expectations of society because he is a train wreck. Although the initiates only saw him as an unstable menace hell bent on breaking their spirit, which is basically what he does.

It's been over a year and I can tell that he's barely holding on, death's grip at his throat, not yet squeezing. She is the only one holding him to earth.

Training was supposed to start, and Eric… nowhere in sight. I was used to this. Who was I to critique him? The man had lost his wife.

The initiates were laughing loudly, disrespectful while they waited. I looked at the old clock on the stone wall, the minute hand barely hanging on. Training had to start now. Thirty minutes had already passed.

"Initiates!" I bellowed in my most intimidating voice. "Take your places in front of a punching bag. Practice until the fights begin." They hesitated. "Now!" I shouted.

They squirmed into place. But not before I heard the snarky Peter asshole's remark to another initiate.

"It's weird as hell. He has all these names tattooed on him, but look at him, he's always alone."

"Do you have something you'd like to ask me, initiate?" I asked.

Of course the asshole wasn't intimidated. "Eric's tattoos," he stated.

I came closer to his face, "and how is that any of your business?"

He ignored this. "Who is Rose and Anastasia?" he asked, unfazed.

"None of your concern," a voice that was not mine answered gravely from behind us.

Eric stood there, unshaven, dark circles beneath his eyes. This struck a fear in Peter who rushed to the punching bags. Eric looked at me as if pleading for my silence.

I stood watch in the security office, filling in for someone even though I was technically free until training was over. Normal night. Drunken Dauntless in the halls. Initiates sneaking out. Wait, initiates sneaking out? I sat on the edge of the swivel chair, trying to make out the culprits and where they were going. I unmuted the sound.

Though it was muffled, I was able to make out some words.

"Just go, - truth or dare says." The boy said.

"Eric will -" said a girl.

Dauntless-borns. I recognized them. Why were they speaking of Eric in hushed tones? I noticed that they were in the Leader's hallways.

"Just take this," the boy said, pushing a metal object in her face. A key. They have a key in the Leaders' hallway.

"Promise you'll -" the girl asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Just go," he answered.

Slowly she tiptoed to L4, Eric's apartment, and pushed the key into the lock and sneaked inside. Eric would be at Erudite now, for another one of their frequent meetings. They were breaking into Eric's apartment.

I did something that I had never done in this job. I switched on the emergency cameras installed in every apartment, which are turned off for privacy reasons.

The apartment was just as it had been a year ago when I had walked in on him and Rose, black couch, a monstrous array of books, everything completely tidy and tucked away. The girl seem astonished by the room. Probably remarking at the absence of torture devices hanging from the walls as Rose had once joked to me.

She walked through the kitchen, cautious not to touch anything. She slowly turned the knob of the small brown door at the end of the kitchen. She gasped aloud at the contents of the room. A crib stood pushed against a wall painted with white, fluffy clouds. The mobile overtop of it still slightly spinning as if it had just been touched. Teddy bears strewn across the floor. Teacups and teapots stood on a table, ready for a tea party. She covered her mouth and bolted out of the door.

"Did you get it?" the waiting boy asked.

I never heard her answer, but I did see her horror-stricken face. They don't even understand.

The last day of stage one. Oh, how they grow up so fast. Eric made a point to be here on time today. He was cleanly shaven today, although his attitude had not changed in the slightest.

I never told him about the disturbance. I'd rather let those kids live in shock without him telling them. Serves them right.

Eric was just in the middle of yelling at an initiate for trying to give up the fight, when a soft banging struck the metal double-doors. His yelling stopped.

"Stiff, go see what is at the door," he barked.

She cautiously strode over to the door, paint peeling off of it. The banging continued. She pushed open the door, slowly and gently.

And in she ran, her black curls bouncing around her face, her black dress flapping in the wind, and her mother's blue eyes catching the eyes of everyone in the room.

"Daddy!" she cried, running to Eric. Gasps rang out across the room. I failed to hide my smirk of amusement at the initiates. Yes, even a monster like Eric bends over backwards for this little girl.

"Ana, what are you doing here?" he asked, panicked.

So smart for her age. She was already partially talking, able to make out coherent sentences at just one-year-old. Intelligent like her mother.

"Daddy!" she wailed again, jumping into Eric's arms as he bent down on his knees in the floor for her.

"Where is Emma?" he asked, still panicking.

"Dwank her sleepy juice, duh Daddy." She replied.

"She drank her sleepy juice and you walked all this way by yourself?" Eric asked.

"Uh-huh!" she said proudly.

All of the initiates were awe-struck by this display.

Eric gritted his teeth in anger, but swallowed it for Anastasia. He took her by the hand, leading her to the door.

"I'll be right back," he said to me. "I have to find her another baby sitter for Ana, and punish th last one."

"No!" she shrieked with a stubbornness and willfulness that screamed Rose. "I dun want another!"

"Sweetie," Eric said, getting on his knees to face her, "Daddy can't bring you here with him. Someone has to take care of you while I'm away."

"I want my mommy!" she said, tapping her foot.

"Wha-" Eric stuttered, taken aback.

"Why dun I have a mommy?" She said, seeming actually upset at this fact.

Eric glanced up at me and then at each initiate, not knowing what to do and as if he were pleading for help.

"You do have a mommy, sweetheart." He finally said.

Anastasia instantly perked up. "Where?" she shouted with glee.

He swallowed, nervous. "She went away, sweetie."

"Why?" she asked, solemnly.

"Mommy was very sick," he began. After a while he continued, "So, she had to go to a place. It's called Heaven and it's so wonderful and pretty. You can play tea party all day there if you want. And there, Mommy will never be sick again."

The faces of the Dauntless transformed from shock to utter grief. As did mine.

Anastasia, on the other hand, was completely blown away. "Daddy, can I go?!" she said, begging Eric.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. Daddy needs you here. You have to take care of me and make sure we have enough teddy bears and eat enough peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

Anastasia's eyebrows furrowed. "That's right," she said, stroking her chin.

He touched her face with the palm of his hand. "Hey, we'll go there someday, when we're really old and wrinkly."

She laughed, "Like Max?"

Eric chuckled, "Even older than that. And then we'll be a family again. But until then, me and you are gonna have all kinds of adventures." He choked a little at the word 'adventure', so slightly that I was probably the only one to notice.

He took her by the hand, and started to lead her out the door.

"What's Mommy like?" she asked.

"Funny you mention it," he responded. "Exactly like you, except for that hair. That's from me. She loved adventures too, but she was so clumsy. And beautiful, just like you. There was this one time…" he said as they walked out the door, leaving behind a dozen awestruck Dauntless whose hearts had been melted.


End file.
